Child of Two Worlds
by Aethelgythe
Summary: Sequel to "Child of Light". Optimus's daughter Aethelgyth is sent to planet Earth and given a human life by Primus in order to prepare her for her true and future destiny. Soundwave and Megatron learn of her existence and vow to make her theirs...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: At long last here is the sequel of Child of Light that I promised. Please go read Child of Light first since it will make more sense if you haven't already.

It took me a while to figure out how I would even start this story. I may switch between first and third character point of views throughout the story. It's a very challenging thing to do sometimes but I'm hoping I do it right. Also, the beginning is pretty slow since it's the introduction into Aethelgythe's human life. There has to be a background for the plot to take place. Please leave me a review!

Chapter 1

I am writing this Autobiography because my time is short. My life on Earth will be ending soon. I am not writing my human memories to evoke pity. I just want the world to know my story. To know who I was, who I am, and who I will be. Memories can be a legacy…so I leave you mine.

Doctors have said that no human on Earth can remember anything before age three. They were wrong, because I have. This is where my memory begins…

"_Come on baby, you can do it!"_

_The one and a half year old struggled to walk for the first time. She kept falling down as her weak legs failed her time and time again. She began to cry but her frustration sparked a stubbornness that had served her well in the past despite the fact that her past life would not be revealed until she was much older some years down the road. She crawled back up to her feet, determined to walk to her mother who was on the floor on both knees, her arms held out in motherly encouragement._

"_Come on, Brittany angel…walk to mommy!"_

_She shook on both legs, her balance was off due to the fact she had surgery to put tubes in her ears because of constant ear infections. The result was that she was late learning how to walk thanks to the balance issue. _

_The baby took one step after another and almost fell again but that stubborn determination helped her take the last three steps where she then fell forward into her mother's loving embrace._

More time passed until she was approximately three years old. The human child was very smart for her age. At eighteen months she could already say the word "calculator" much to her mother's shock. At age two and a half she could already distinguish colors and shapes. By age three she could count numbers and surpassed other human children in her age group.

_Her mother pointed to a stop sign as they drove._

"_What shape is that?"_

_The young child struggled to remember and said "hexigon". At least she believed it to be a hexigon. Didn't a hexigon have six sides? _

"_Very good! Mommy is so proud of you!"_

_The child saw something beautiful outside the window, shimmering in beautiful colors up in the sky._

"_Look mommy!"_

"_Oh, I see it! That's a rainbow. Isn't it pretty?" _

"_God painted the rainbow…he needs to let it dry," the young girl voiced innocently from her car seat in the back of the car. This took Brittany's mother by surprise, her child seemed to notice even the simplest of things that she oftentimes overlooked._

_Brittany smiled at her mother's laughter._

"_That's right Brittany. God painted the rainbow."_

She remembered her mother the most, the older she got. That's because this human child's biological father had abandoned her and her mother at birth. The man wanted nothing to do with them. He was interested in other women and didn't care much for the responsibility and didn't know how to care for an infant. He wasn't even excited when his young wife first told him the news that she was pregnant. It was very sad but this only brought mother and daughter closer together.

_The three year old sat quietly in a chair beside her mother, looking at a picture book as they waited in the hospital for a doctor's appointment. It was a story that her mother had read to her many times before. It was a children's book about how the human body functioned. As the child sat, listening to her mother's voice softly reading each sentence, something happened. A fleeting thought crossed her mind. She did not voice it out loud._

_**I bet Ratchet would love this.**_

_The child's brow furrowed in complete confusion as the thought left as quickly as it came. Who was Ratchet? She felt like she should know but the child once again got lost in the book her mother was reading her and the name was forgotten._

_Later that night…_

_Brittany heard soft sobs coming from the living room in the small apartment she and her mother shared. The child's curiosity beckoned her to climb out of her nice cozy bed to go investigate. She cautiously left her room and tip toed out into the living room. Only one light was turned on and she could see the sobbing figure of her mother hunched over on the edge of the couch. Her face was buried in her hands. The child didn't want to see her mommy sad and grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the living room table. The soft sound of a tissue tearing out of the cardboard alerted the mother that her child was present. She did her best to hide her tears but failed miserably. Her face was red from crying and her breathing hitched in her throat when she saw her._

"_Go back to bed sweetheart. Mommy's fine."_

_Brittany handed her the tissue wordlessly and that sweet action invoked more tears and another sob from her mother. The child began to cry too, not understanding why the Kleenex made her mommy cry even more. Her mother pulled her forward and enveloped her in a hug. Both of them cried together. Soon the sobs abated and the mother stroked her daughter's hair lovingly and wiped Brittany's tears away with her thumb._

"_I love you, my sweet angel. I'm so happy I have you."_

"_Why are you sad mommy?"_

"_Sometimes I feel lonely..." _

_Brittany didn't know that her mother was still grieving over the divorce, a concept that the child did not yet comprehend. She couldn't remember ever having a daddy. Her mother was her only parent. Her mother smiled softly at her and kissed her on the forehead._

"_I'm not as lonely now that I have you." _

_The mother picked her daughter up and carried her back to the bedroom and tucked her in._

"_Go to sleep. Mommy is feeling much better now. I love you."_

"_Can you sing me a song?"_

_Her mother smiled at her and began to sing a lullaby. Pretty soon the child's eyelids closed and the last thing she heard before she fell asleep was her mother's soft voice wishing her good night._

"_Good night, my sweet angel."_

Not long after, Brittany's mother remarried to another man named Henry.

_Brittany looked up innocently at her new stepfather on the day of their wedding and asked one question._

"_Are you going to be my daddy now?"_

_He said that he would be. Little did she know, that this one man was going to be the one to turn her world upside down …_

Something traumatic occurred about a year later that the toddler had witnessed. She saw her stepfather choking her mother but that was a memory that was soon blocked out. That was when the nightmare's and the bedwetting began.

There were many nights to come that were filled with terror. Fortunately Henry was in the army and was called away on missions most of the time. Brittany would oftentimes run to her mother's bed and cuddle with her after awakening from another bad dream. The mother couldn't refuse her child comfort and allowed her to sleep beside her the rest of the night. She would whisper soothing things to her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

There was a time when she was about five or six years of age when she was publicly humiliated by her stepfather. He was mad at her that she was a little older now and still wet the bed on some occasions.

"_Do you want to be a baby? Huh?! Is that what you want?!" he would yell at her. Henry was always angry it seemed and the man liked to take it out on her when her mother wasn't around. He took her to the store and bought her diapers. Her face turned red from embarrassment and she looked down at the floor in shame as her stepfather explained in public to the cashier why he was buying diapers for her. It wasn't her fault that she had accidents in the middle of the night! _

_Once they got home he put a diaper on her and sent her outside to play with her friends. He let her go out and play on one condition. She had to tell EVERYONE that she was a baby and wet the bed at night. Those were the humiliating words she would have to repeat. He watched her from the open window and she shyly drew one sneakered toe in the dirt as one of her friends came up asking to play with her. She nodded and she cringed when she heard Henry whisper furiously at her._

"_Tell them!"_

_Brittany told her friend what it was he wanted her to say with hot tears brimming in her eyes. Her friend shrugged casually not seeing what the big deal was and the child's mother also came out to greet her. Her friend's mother had heard her shameful confession and crouched down with a smile. _

"_It's okay, honey…Everyone has accidents!"_

_No one accused her of being a baby and no one laughed at her._

_This infuriated Henry beyond all belief. He called her back inside the apartment. The child's heart fell into her stomach and she felt like she was marching to her death. Once she got inside, he slammed the door shut and towered over her menacingly. _

"_What did your friends have to say?"_

"_They said it was okay and that I'm not a baby."_

"_You are lying to me! Tell me the truth!"_

_She shook with fright and repeated what she had already said. Henry shoved the child against the wall and screamed in her face._

"_I HEARD EVERYTHING FROM THAT WINDOW! TELL ME THE TRUTH!"_

_The five year old sobbed not understanding what he meant._

_She didn't know what a lie was yet._

_He shook her roughly and continued to scream at her. She hung her head and clenched her eyes shut. She spoke words that felt so wrong but that she knew she had to say or risk getting physically hurt by him._

"_They all laughed at me…"_

"_What? I couldn't hear you," he sneered._

_Hot, angry tears fell from her eyes and she yelled back at him._

"_THEY ALL LAUGHED AT ME, ARE YOU HAPPY?!"_

Brittany told her first lie_._

_He let her go, satisfied with the answer and left her alone after that. He threatened she'd be sorry if she even thought about telling her mother about what had happened that day._

She came to learn that lying was something she was going to have to do more often if she wanted to stay alive. He had hit her before but he usually only did that when he was mad at her for something. Her mother never hurt her like that. When her mother was angry, she would frown down at her and tell her she was disappointed before sitting her in a corner for timeout. She got spanked by her mother occasionally but not often.

Henry didn't see her the way her mother did. The man didn't even seem to consider her to be his child.

She lived in constant fear. Whenever he stepped foot through the door her heart sank. She kept her head down and meekly did whatever he said or risk his wrath. It was hard enough that she had to deal with bullies at school.

Her hell on Earth had only just begun…

_Brittany was not like her peers. She was different, she could feel it deep within her soul. She was a good kid with a tender heart. She suffered because of it._

_She was a loner and felt like she never fit in or didn't belong. Her stressful situations at home impacted her schoolwork drastically. She fell behind in her studies. First grade wasn't that bad. Second grade was worse. Her classmates excelled at math and she struggled with it. There was a chart plastered on one wall of the room showing the progress each child made with their time tables. She was in last place, stuck in in the threes. _

_Her peers would poke fun at her for this and called her stupid. She also got behind learning how to read. She had to spend extra time after school with a tutor and at home going over other workbooks to try and catch her up._

_Once she made it to third grade, she could read proficiently. By fourth grade, she surpassed her peers in reading and writing._

_Brittany learned very soon that she loved reading. Stories would suck her in and she would forget all about the bullies that would torment her and about the stepfather at home that hated her. She became what some would consider anti-social. She found peace when she was alone. Other kids would run off to play and leave her sitting by herself at the lunch table. For some reason, she felt different. Like she wasn't one of them. She would run home crying to her mother and asked her why she was so different from everyone else. Her mother would hug her and tell her she was special and that God made her the way he did for a special reason._

_She felt alienated one particular day when she was outside with some of her friends and their mothers. An ice cream truck came ambling down the street playing a catchy tune that every child came to recognize. The other kids jumped up and down in excitement and ran down the hill with dollar bills in their hands. Their behavior was bizarre in Brittany's mind. She was more reserved and stood silently for a moment. Before long she found herself bouncing on the balls of her feet chanting for ice cream. Once she realized what she was doing she stopped immediately. She never liked conforming to the rest of society, uncertain if her behavior was acceptable considering her maturity level. Her friend's mother smiled down at her and gave her a dollar._

"_What are you waiting for? Go get some ice cream!"_

_She ran down the hill to join the other children but still felt alien._

There was one day after school that she was at the youth center waiting for her mom to pick her up._ Another girl stood talking with her and she said something that was meant to be a lie but within her heart it felt TRUE._

"_I had a brother once…he died."_

"_You did not have a brother!"_

_Brittany's mom walked up to them after pulling into an empty parking space and was bombarded with questions from the other child._

"_Did Brittany ever have a brother who died?"_

"_No she did not."_

_Brittany felt confused. It was a lie wasn't it? Then why did it feel true? Did she have a brother she didn't know about that her mother kept secret from her? She asked her mother about this after they got into the car and her mother shook her head._

"_I don't know where you are getting this from but you are my only angel."_

Pretty soon, Brittany became a big sister at age eight. Her half-brother Ricky was born one afternoon while she was in gym class. Henry came to pick her up from school and took her to the hospital so she could meet him for the first time. She was excited to be a big sister. She prayed for a brother. She didn't want to be alone. She learned to play by herself and keep herself occupied and entertained but now the thought of having a brother to play with, regardless that there was an eight year difference between them made her happy. She learned to take care of a baby at age eight. She got to feed him, change his diapers, and watch over him. Her joy soon turned to grief the older the boy became.

Ricky's dad favored him above her. She felt invisible at home and was treated as a second class citizen. She began to hate her life. Her mother began to change too. She was submissive to Henry and waited on him, answering his every beck and call despite the fact he mistreated her. Brittany could see that Henry was turning them both into slaves. Slaves to fear. They both feared his temper. Her mother probably more so than Brittany since Henry had physically attacked her in the past. The abuse at home continued into the sixth grade.

_There was one time that she was in her room minding her own business when she heard her three year old brother screaming in pain. He had fallen and hurt himself. Henry blamed Brittany for it and before she had a chance to defend herself he slapped her once and then back-handed her. That was the first time her mother had ever witnessed him striking her. She was furious._

_Henry never hit her like that again although there was one particular time he spanked her so hard she had bruises on her leg. Her mother told her when she went to her swimming lesson at the YMCA to say she fell down and hurt herself if anyone asked. After that, he never physically abused her again. He would scream and swear at her though. And throw things when he was in an absolute fit. He would drink a few beers and be calm after that. That, became very commonplace._

The army called him away to Bosnia for a four month tour. Both mother and daughter were relieved to see him go. When he came back, about a couple months later, Brittany learned that she was about to have a sister in the near future. Her sister took after her father, at least anger wise. It was scary. Brittany came to cope and buried herself in science fiction books. Every spare minute of her day, she would be reading. On the school bus, between classes at school, whenever she was free. She escaped her hell for a time and found peace there.

Then a couple years later she was told she would have another brother. This infuriated her and she did not take the news well. She was going to have to be responsible and take care of THREE siblings that were all favored by their dad. Brittany was happy though to learn that her mother favored her even though she loved all her children the same. It was simply because mother and daughter had been so close the first three years of Brittany's life. It was just the two of them. Brittany loved spending time with her mother and was always happy to see Henry leave when the army called him away. He went to Macedonia next.

During that time when she was left without a father figure…regardless that she did not consider Henry to be her father since he never seemed to love her, a gaping hole was left within her that longed to be filled. She would daydream and imagine that her real father was a hero and that he would come one day out of the blue and rescue her from her abusive life and take her with him to the stars. Brittany loved stargazing. For some reason she always felt peace looking up at the night sky and felt that somehow there was more out there that she could not see and knew that aliens existed beyond planet Earth. She of course was not aware of why or how she knew this to be true. Her daydreaming and imagining continued into high school.

If it weren't for the rift within Brittany's heart, the longing to have a father that genuinely loved her…she might never have found him. Her father came from beyond the stars.

She did not know it yet, but her father's name was that of a science fiction character.

Brittany didn't know that she had once been called Aethelgythe, the daughter… of Optimus Prime.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Author's Note: like I said the intro might be considered boring since it doesn't feature the Cybertronians yet. Don't worry they will be featured pretty soon so please have some patience. Thanks for reading! I hope you stay tuned for the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you for reading, reviewing, and adding to alerts and favorites.

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentioned songs and artists. I don't own Elrond or Lord of the Rings they belong to Tolkien, nor do I own Star Wars they belong to George Lucas. I also do not own Power Rangers, they belong to Saban I believe.

**Chapter 2**

_Brittany slung her backpack over her shoulder and hopped down the stairs of the bus, kicking up dust when her feet made contact with the dirt road. She began walking, keeping to herself as other kids headed for their homes throughout the neighborhood._

"_Hey Bucktooth, what's your hurry?"_

_The bully blocked her way as she was walking down the dirt lane that would lead her home. This bully made fun of her because her two front teeth were crooked. She remained silent, refusing to lower herself to his level and did not insult him in kind._

_His other friends appeared not long after and joined him. She was outnumbered five to one._

"_Fight me! What are you, a chicken?! Come on!"_

"_I don't want to fight you. I just want to go home."_

"_You don't want to fight me because you know you'd lose. You are a LOSER! And you always will be," he and the other kids laughed at her. She shoved past them but one of them tripped her with his foot. She fell face down in the dirt and picked herself up. They laughed even harder and continued to call her unkind names. She glared at them silently and then turned and ran. She did not stop running until she made it home._

_They were always looking for a fight and she refused. She was taught to fight only in self-defense. If they made the first move and hit her first, she could then hit them back. The truth was…she didn't know how to fight. They beat her up before in the past. She learned how to run and she was fast. Brittany was getting tired of running._

_Until the day came when she DID fight back. Terry the bully said or did something that made her mad and she sucker punched him hard in his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and doubling him over. The other kids stood stunned and were wide-eyed and couldn't believe what they had witnessed. He and his friends were outraged and chased her. She got punched and beat up in return. She almost didn't care that time…she was proud of herself. Brittany honestly didn't know where that punch came from…it was practically professional! If it was a one on one fight, Brittany knew she would have stood a better chance. The odds were always against her it seemed._

Not long after that, she earned Terry's respect. He and his other friends left her alone when they witnessed another fight that took place on her bus on the way home.

_Brittany was reading one of her "Star Wars" science fiction books, ignoring the creaking and the bouncing of the bus as it hit potholes in the road. She tuned out the chatter of the other kids around her and became engrossed in the story she was reading. A dark skinned girl sitting next to her, without warning, slapped the book out of her hands. Brittany was startled and picked the book up and ignored her and went back to reading._

_When it happened a second time, Brittany voiced her displeasure._

"_Why did you just do that?"_

_The other girl hit her across the face in response. Brittany was shocked by the action and sat stunned for a moment. This girl picked a fight with her and she had done nothing to antagonize the girl. She had been minding her own business! Brittany glared at her._

"_That was uncalled for!"_

_The girl struck her again. That was the last straw. Brittany fought the other girl and she was winning. Brittany ignored the shouts of the other kids chanting the word "fight" over and over again. She would have won that fight if it weren't for what happened next…_

_The dark skinned girl's older brother came from the back of the bus where the older kids sat and joined in. Now she was cornered fighting TWO people, one of them much older than her. Brittany did not give up despite the odds and dodged and ducked their blows, landing a few good hits on them. The older boy had seen more fights than she had. He had more experience._

_He punched her, HARD in the face which in turn slammed the back of her head against the window, TWICE._

_This did not deter or stop her. She was fighting now to survive. It hurt, but she ignored the pain, determined to make a stand. Maybe Brittany had something to prove. Maybe she wanted to prove to all the kids and the bullies that she wasn't a coward or a loser. She wanted to prove that she was strong and brave._

_Brittany didn't know how but the fight ended and she sat back down in her seat as the bus driver shouted at them, ending the dispute. She did not cry. She was infuriated. Why was the world against her? It wasn't fair._

_The bus driver dropped the two antagonists off at their stop and then proceeded to take her home a few minutes away. As she was leaving the bus, the driver stopped her by grabbing her arm kindly._

"_I know you didn't start the fight. You won't get in trouble for this. The other two will."_

_Brittany nodded her thanks silently and made it home._

_Her mother saw the bruises on her face and was angry when she learned that she had been attacked yet again by bullies._

_The next day, Brittany learned that the two kids that attacked her were banned from the bus forever. Terry and the other kids had witnessed the fight and nodded at her as she took her usual seat three rows up by the door the following morning. They never asked her to fight them, ever again._

Brittany daydreamed that she knew martial arts and could take the bullies down.

Her dream came true two years later when she entered eighth grade. Three years after that she became a black belt. It was the proudest moment of her life. It took a lot of work, blood, sweat, and tears to earn it. She would never forget her Master Instructor. His name was Master Lee and he was from South Korea. She learned Taekwondo and learned many good things from him.

He taught his students that power had to be respected. His students were not allowed to flaunt their power by wearing their belts in public. If they went out to the store, they left their belts in the car, leaving them solely in their white uniforms. No one knew their rank, or what they were capable of. Master Lee instilled respect within his classes. Everyone was to respect not just their parents, instructors, and each other but their enemies as well. He also believed that self-defense was the best offense. Brittany learned not to fight just for herself…but to fight to protect others as well. If she had the power to DO something, that was her responsibility.

_She was in band class in the ninth grade. The percussion students were cocky and arrogant and thought they were better than everyone else. They picked on one of her peers, a boy named Justin, a fellow trumpet player like her. They name called him and taunted him, trying to get him to retaliate in some way. This made Brittany's blood boil. She was not going to stand idly by and do nothing! She knew what it was like to be outnumbered…knew what it was like to be weak and to have no one there to defend you._

_She stood up from her chair, turned on them and in a dangerously icy voice, told them…no, __**commanded**__ them to leave the poor boy be. She said that if they wanted a fight so badly, they needed to come outside with her right then and now to settle things. The percussion boys shut up immediately and never bothered them again._

Brittany constantly felt like Earth was not her true home. Her whole life she felt alone. She never felt completely human. The music she listened too were giving her clues that she never realized were hinting that she was missing someone important in her life and that she did not belong on planet Earth. The songs "Headstrong" by Trapt, "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd, "Show me The Meaning of Being Lonely" by Backstreet Boys, "Broken" by Seether, "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins, were a few out of many that seemed to carry hidden messages. She felt the hidden meaning behind the lyrics but did not understand how that pertained to her at the time.

_High School, is where it all began._

She believed for a time that her daydreams and fantasies of another life were just that…fictional, fabricated by her own mind in the wake of her fatherlessness. She was afraid to believe that they were real memories. Memories of a life predating Earth. That was impossible, wasn't it?

The first thing she remembered was the bond. A bond she had with a father who loved her. Their hearts, their souls had been connected at one point. She couldn't remember his name, just the relationship she had with him and the others that had once been a part of her life. The memories became clearer the older she got. During her freshman year in high school she remembered something with crystal clarity.

_She was on a ship in outer space. There was a white, pristine hallway. It was very clean and very bright. To her right, the entire wall was made of clear, transparent material. Beyond the glass were millions of twinkling stars._

_Then the fragment of memory shifted and someone was running for her, screaming that they were under attack as red strobe lights and a warning klaxon sounded over the loudspeakers._

Brittany was confused by this for the longest time. That was just her overactive imagination wasn't it?

"_Me, from outer space? That's a joke…" she sighed with a wistful smile as she flipped through TV stations trying to find one of her favorite shows after school. _

She was very creative and had been writing her own fictional stories over the years since she was young. She actually won first place in a school-wide writing contest in the sixth grade. She never lost her zeal for that. It was only natural that she believed these supposed memories to be fake. Something that she just fabricated within her mind to escape her hellish life at home. Brittany figured it was simply a pathetic attempt to fill that aching void deep within her soul.

"_Brittany, get to work raking those leaves!"_

_Her eyes went wide at the amount of leaves that covered both the front, side, and rear portions of their yard by their military issued duplex. Her stepfather had adopted her legally when she was twelve years old. Since then she had tried everything she could to make him like her. She went above and beyond to prove to him that she was capable of being successful and good enough to be considered his daughter. She wanted to make him proud in some way, so that he would love her. She'd been trying for years. He seemed to like her enough the older she got, probably because they had to live with each other for so long. Still, she felt second best and wanted to be the best that she could be. She wanted to be accepted as an equal child._

_She grabbed the rake and narrowed her eyes slightly in silent acceptance of the challenge and put all of her strength and will into getting the job done right, as quickly and as efficiently as she could. No one else in the family helped her. It was a task she had been given to do all on her own, which didn't bother her too much since she'd gotten used to such assignments._

_Hours passed and the sun began to set. There were now a few blisters on her hands from using the rake but all she cared about was some kind of thanks or appreciation for her hard work. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Brittany had given her all, poured out sweat and even tears of stubborn determination as the exertion began to tax her body and her arms shook and grew weak from the strain. She never gave up even though her body screamed at her to rest. The job was finally finished. Not one leaf was left lying on the ground. Black bags filled with leaves were hauled out to the side of the road for the garbage men to pick up the following morning._

_She went inside to see her family enjoying themselves with various activities. Henry was lounging on the sofa with a drink in hand, and feet propped up on a footstool watching football. Her mother was in the kitchen preparing dinner and her little brothers and sister, whom she still loved dearly, were playing in the living room._

_She stood in front of her adoptive father and half smiled at him._

"_I finished. The yard is clean."_

_He glanced at her, a little annoyed that she had interrupted his game and nodded as he uttered a one word response. _

"_Okay"_

_That one word crushed her spirits and dashed her hopes. He didn't say "Good job" or "That's nice", or anything! He then ignored her and went back to watching the damn TV._

_Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and she turned and ran up the stairs and went to her room and shut the door. In the privacy of her sanctuary, she lay prone on the floor and wept. She glanced at the blisters on her hands._

_She failed. He didn't even approve of her hard work. Her efforts had all been in vain. The pain and that aching void within her heart evoked quiet sobs. She always imagined a great healer would come and fix her of whatever hurt or ailed her. Her overactive and childish imagination made her wish that Elrond, the healer from Lord of the Rings was real. That was something else she craved, another void she wished could be filled. Someone to heal her of all her hurts. Brittany felt that she knew someone like that once but couldn't remember who._

_She didn't even remember falling asleep…_

Silly as it was, there was a time when she thought her father was Leo from Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. She thought so only because they too had a ship in outer space that had a bunch of windows on the right side of the hallway same as her memory. Plus she figured red was just her father's color. She had no idea…

Her longing for a father that loved her… was a wish, a daydream, a fantasy that she carried with her into college.

She had watched the cartoon Transformers G1 since she was a kid. The G1 franchise first came out in 1984. Brittany was born in 1987, a few short years after the fictional Transformers became known to the world. There were many times, obviously, when she wished fictional things to be real. Transformers were no exception. She loved Optimus Prime the most. He was her hero. His noble qualities inspired and appealed to her. He was selfless, courageous, caring, compassionate, forgiving, and nurturing. He was the kind of father she longed for.

She wished he was real and that he was her daddy.

The memories began to flood her mind in confusing fragments since high school, broken pieces of a life she had lost. It began to drive her mad. Brittany was seriously afraid that she was losing her sanity. She kept a journal and wrote down everything in the hopes that doing this would get them out of her head for good. Maybe once they were on paper they wouldn't haunt her anymore. The things she wrote sounded like an incredible story. She began journaling one day while she was on a summer break from her sophomore year in college. She never forgot that day…

"_Brittany honey, I need to use the computer!"_

"_Okay mom, I'm almost done!"_

_The young girl had finally finished watching one of the Transformer G1 cartoons again and surrendered the computer to her mother. She went out to the living room and opened her journal and started with page one. It was dated 1-15-2007._

_/The following is a compilation of 2 journals that I have recorded in order to document memories of my life. The strongest one I can remember is __**the bond**_._ Like nearly all of my memories, I cannot remember names or faces. Just feelings, thoughts, actions, and events as well as relationships. My father and I shared this bond. We were very close and we grew even closer once my mother died. / _

_It was as she was writing down her memories concerning the father that loved her that she felt it for the first time… the bond with her father was REAL. _

_She placed a hand over her chest and her breathing hitched in her throat._

"_**Father? You're real?"**__ she questioned incredulously as she conveyed those questions through the bond with him. She felt that he loved her through their link and began to cry. It was too good to be true._

_She could feel him again and sobbed, afraid that she was crazy and that there was no way that what she was feeling, experiencing could be real. She still had doubts and she still questioned her sanity. There was no denying that the bond she remembered was true. Did that mean that the rest of it was too?_

_Brittany wiped her tears away and sniffled. Her quiet sobs were heard and her mother's voice floated to her from the adjoining room._

"_Brittany, sweetie, are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine mom!"_

_She had never been better. She held on to him with their bond with everything she had. She didn't want to let him go…afraid that if she did, he wouldn't exist anymore._

"_**Father…I love you**__."_

"_Did you say something?" her mother called from the other room. Brittany was startled, unaware that she had spoken aloud while she was conveying her message to her father._

"_I said I love you mom!"_

_Brittany burned with embarrassment. That had been too close. There was no way she could ever share any of this information with her. Her mother would think that she was insane. The next message Brittany sent him was silent. She placed a hand over her chest and closed her eyes, flooding their bond with all the love and joy she had for him._

"_**I miss you, father."**_

It was that very year in 2007 that the Transformers movie by Michael Bay first came out. That was also the same year that Brittany was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Her world was shattered and she sobbed, believing that the mental illness was the cause of her apparent mental instability and that everything she questioned to be true was all a lie.

The bond still burned bright and true and persisted despite what Brittany believed.

She did not yet put all of the pieces together and it wasn't until that fall that she had the suspicion that Optimus Prime was her father. Cybertronians had sparks…that was how they had spark bonds. Brittany was human currently. That did not make any sense. How could she have a spark bond with her father, when she wasn't Cybertronian?

"_I used to be…wasn't I?"_

_Brittany dropped to her knees and prayed fervently to the Creator of the Universe. Having been raised in the Christian faith, it was against everything she believed to consider reincarnation as a truth. Brittany was afraid that if she believed that she had once been Cybertronian, died, and came back to life as a human…she was defying her God…and was believing a lie._

"_God…is this real? Are **they** real?" _

All she wanted was truth. Her faith was questioned constantly. It only got worse as time dragged on…

_One day while she was reading a Transformers story on a fan fiction website titled "The Truth About Transformers" Brittany was almost sure that they were real. The way the author described them in full detail, how they talked, what they said, what they looked like, their personalities, EVERYTHING matched perfectly with her fragmented memories. This fan fiction author claimed that everything she wrote about her encounter with the Cybertronians was completely true. Brittany hastily sent a review._

_/Review: Hi Autobotgirl6, I believe you. I know your story is real. I have one question for you. Did Optimus ever have a daughter?/_

/_Review Reply: Yes…he did mention that he did. He was always sad whenever he talked about her. I think her name was Aethelgythe, pronounced A-thee-el-gith./_

_/PM Message: You say they are real. Do you know where they are right now? Is there a way I can find them?/_

_/PM Message Reply: I'm afraid you can't. They left Earth in January. The government kicked them off planet./_

_Brittany looked at the calendar. The current date was May, 2009. She had just missed her father and the Autobots by only a few months. She sobbed with relief, feeling for the first time in her life that everything was true…and KNEW that they were real. _

_Brittany dropped to her knees, looked up at the ceiling and opened her bond with her father, and sent him a plea pouring in all of the sorrow and anguish she was feeling._

_**Father, come back! I'm on Earth! Please…**_

_The pain faded to a dull ache and she went through half a box of Kleenex during that episode. _

She compiled all of her wannabe memories from her journal and posted them on a fan fiction website as a Transformers story a few days later. She wanted them to read it…and know that she was alive and that she was here on Earth.

Not long after posting her memories on that public website, she became good friends with Autobotgirl6 and they private messaged and emailed each other a lot. Their friendship grew despite the fact that there was a ten year difference between the two of them. Autobotgirl6 was only 13 years old. She claimed she was abducted by the Decepticons and rescued by the Autobots at age 12. Others of course wouldn't believe her story, because she was just a kid. Kids are well known for over exaggerating, lying, and spinning tall tales. To the rest of the world…it was only fiction.

The two girls knew better. They had lived it.

They did not know of the danger they were truly in. It happened one day while they were on a chat website.

Brittany finally encountered a Decepticon as a human, for the first time since she was Cybertronian…

To Be Continued!

Author's Note: well there you have it, chapter two lol. Not sure when I will have the next one posted. It may take some time. Thanks for reading and thanks for leaving me a review!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm really on a roll with this. I wonder how long this inspiration will last me…

Disclaimer: I do not own Walmart or Linkin Park.

**Chapter 3**

Brittany turned up the volume on her iPod as she walked to class. The last of the lyrics faded out on the song "Made of Glass" by Trapt. It was one of the songs that hinted that she was someone else…that she wasn't always Brittany of Earth. The next song in her playlist was "Somewhere I belong" by Linkin Park. This was a song she'd listened to back in high school. They were her favorite band. She mouthed the words to the chorus silently as she ran down the steps and to the crosswalk that would lead her to the library. Her English class was meeting there to begin working on group assignments that involved writing some kind of five page paper. Oh joy…

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
>I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long<br>(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
>I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real<br>I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
>Somewhere I belong<em>

She turned her iPod off and her class began. Life was good. She found freedom while she was in college. She could do whatever she wanted, when she wanted, without having to answer to anyone. Brittany learned to be responsible. She was shaping into a young adult. She did miss her family, they lived about two hours away. Brittany didn't own a car so she had to rely on them to pick her up and take her home on the short breaks the school allotted for them.

During her time away at college, she reconciled with her adoptive father Henry. He apologized for all the wrong he had ever caused her and claimed he was a new man. Brittany accepted his apology but still felt wary on the inside. He had lied plenty of times before in the past. When her mother threatened to walk out and leave him, he would come back and say he was sorry and then turn around and go back to mistreating them. It was a vicious cycle that never seemed to end. This apology was different. He had actually cried over the phone when he talked to her. He never cried. Ever. Since that time he finally treated her as a daughter. It was the nicest he'd ever been to her. Brittany wished he had been this good and this nice during her childhood. He and her mother divorced that year.

She continued to do well in school. She kept an A-B honor roll and before making it into college, she graduated high school with high honors at the top 10 percent of her class. She never got into trouble.

For some reason, trouble always seemed to find her. Especially when she wasn't looking for it…

_On her way back to her dormitory, something out of the ordinary happened._

_"Miss…I need you to come with me."_

_She looked up and her eyes narrowed suspiciously at the campus safety officer. He had both hands casually resting on his utility belt that came equipped with a walkie-talkie, whistle, keys, and miniscule can of pepper spray. The golden badge with the college name engraved on it reflected some of the sunlight into her eyes._

"_Is there a problem?"_

"_Please follow me, there are a few questions we'd like to ask you."_

_A few minutes later and they were sitting in the office of the head of campus security, the scowling officer that escorted her in, left to go on patrol._

_A long suffering sigh escaped her lips as the minutes ticked slowly away on the clock face hanging on the back wall._

_Fifteen minutes later, another officer entered and took a seat behind the desk and Brittany's dormitory collegium took a seat nearby._

_The officer cleared her throat and folded her hands on top of the desk and looked seriously at her._

_"This morning between the hours of 6-8 am, a theft was reported in your suite. We would like to ask you a few questions, if that's okay."_

_Brittany nodded her head, clearly taken by surprise by this rather stunning encounter._

_"Where were you this morning?"_

_"Sleeping…in my room."_

_The officer had a notepad out and was scribbling things down as she answered questions, occasionally glancing up at her. The collegium, remained quiet, simply observing as a silent witness._

_"I need to hear in as much detail as possible, what exactly you did this morning up to the present moment. Can you do that for me?"_

"_Sure. I have nothing to hide."_

_Brittany took a deep breath and then recounted everything she did, including leaving her room to go to the bathroom at 7:11 am to get ready for the day. At last she was finished and the officer finished writing the last few notes down. She glanced up at her with a critical eye, making Brittany shiver involuntarily. It was the kind of predatory look a hawk had when it spotted its prey._

_"Do you keep to-do-lists?"_

_The question caught her off guard. What the hell did a to-do-list have to do with a theft? And for that matter…who __**didn't**__ keep a to-do-list?_

_"Of course, I mean…who doesn't? I write lists down for everything. Even lists for important events during a busy day so I don't forget anything. Why?"_

_"It's just a standard question we ask everyone involved with this case. Thank you for your time, you are free to go," the Officer woman forced a tight smile._

_Well…that was definitely weird._

_She glanced down at the watch on her wrist and swore, running for the crosswalk. She only had five minutes to get to her second class which was on the other side of campus._

The rest of the day passed quickly, without incident, although the weird event with campus safety pulling her in for questioning constantly plagued her mind. Something set off her internal warning buzzer whenever her thoughts looped back to the 'to-do-list'.

_Her last class was a boring general studies course with a professor that had the same dry monotone as Ben Stein from the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Half of the class was in a coma, drooling all over the desks. It was sickening. Many a time, she found herself nodding off but managed to get through it. Then came, the two life reviving words…_

_"Class dismissed."_

_A stampede exploded for the door, every student eager to escape the torture chamber of doom. The moment she got to the door, one of her friends looked worriedly at her with a frown and whispered so as not to be overheard._

_"There is a campus safety officer right outside, asking for you."_

_"What?"_

_Dread filled Brittany's stomach as she headed for the only available exit to the building where indeed, a uniformed campus safety official stood waiting for her. One of their black, campus safety trucks equipped with flashing yellow lights on the top of the cab, sat waiting a few yards away. The young man straightened up as she approached him cautiously._

_"Someone said you wished to see me?"_

_"Yes, the chief would like to speak with you."_

_"About what"_

_"She wouldn't say."_

_She rolled her eyes and got in the truck, a little frustrated and filled with apprehension as they drove across campus to the Campus Safety office, complete with interrogation rooms._

_"This way," he led her through a couple hallways and then opened a door leading into a nearly bare room, with only one table and four chairs. Bars covered the one window in the room, making her feel like she was already incarcerated._

_"She will be with you in a moment."_

_She sat drumming her fingers on the table top while the other hand propped against her cheek, her eyes glassy from boredom. She had another class in one hour…actually it was currently her lunch break and she was missing it, which only added to her already mounting irritability._

_At long last, the door creaked open and the director of campus safety, the same one that questioned her last time entered the room. The officer that had escorted her to this prison, followed by her collegium, all filed into the room. The three sat across from her, almost like a mini jury._

_"What's this about?"_

_"We are going to ask you some questions that may be uncomfortable and a little personal."_

_Confusion filled her eyes and she felt her head tilting to one side._

_"What?"_

_"Do you recognize __this?"_

_She held a paper up for her to see, just out of reach but close enough to be read._

_In the officer's hand was an old, crumpled up, slightly torn to-do-list that she had thrown away at the start of the semester._

_"This is yours, is it not?"_

_"Yeah, that's an old to-do-list I threw away months ago! What the hell is this about?" _

_"We found this in a very peculiar place."_

_Brittany stared stupidly at her, not understanding what she was getting at._

_"This was found in the purse of your neighbor. She had $300 stolen and the culprit placed one of her credit cards under her pillow, and then placed the to-do-list in her purse. Can you explain how it got there?"_

_"Are you insane?! WHY in the HELL would I put that there, in order to link myself to the crime?! I would have to be the DUMBEST criminal in HISTORY!"_

_Brittany could hear the twilight zone theme music playing in the background. This couldn't be happening to her…it just couldn't. She leaned forward looking intently at them with anger, fear, and betrayal in her eyes. They remained silent._

"_You have go to be kidding me! You are accusing me of a crime that I didn't commit! __Listen…I don't know WHO put it there…but I'm telling you, someone has got to be framing me!"_

"_No one is accusing you, we are just trying to get to the bottom of this. We want the true criminal caught, same as you."_

"_Seriously, I mind my own business. I go to class, go home, do my homework, and watch TV if I have down time or go hang out with a couple of my friends down at the rec room. I don't associate with my neighbor. She has a bad attitude and is rude beyond belief. I want nothing to do with the girl and I assure you, I have a clean record. I have done nothing wrong."_

_"Do you know anyone who might hold a grudge against you?"_

_"No…not really… There are some suite mates that I'm not on speaking terms with since they are total bitches to me but that's it."_

_Some notes were being scribbled down on a yellow notepad, courtesy of officer stalker over there, who came to retrieve her after class._

_"Now I need you to do something for me. Look me in the eye…and answer this question truthfully."_

_"Okay"_

_"Did you steal the money?"_

_"HELL NO!"_

_She was furious now. Brittany, the teacher's pet, the goody-two-shoes girl that never got in trouble was taking the fall for someone else's crime. It was an injustice._

_"Listen, I don't know WHO the hell did this but it sure as hell wasn't me. Unlike SOME people, I actually have morals and values. I have done __**nothing**__ wrong."_

_"I understand that you are upset but circumstantial evidence stands…this does not look good for you right now. We are going to investigate the case further. If anything turns up, it may be taken up to the judicial board and suspension may be passed."_

_She sat there, numb and in shock._

_"You are free to go."_

_Brittany couldn't believe this was happening to her._

Afterwards she returned to her dormitory and walked up the three flights of stairs that would take her to her suite on the top floor. She had lived with a roommate for the first two years of college. Once Brittany became an upper classman she had the option to obtain her own living quarters. Brittany loved having a room all to herself. She could be alone to think and to take a much needed reprieve from humanity.

She did NOT steal. She was raised better than that. Thanks to the Christian faith, stealing was a sin and was forbidden. Not to mention her father Optimus, had taught her the very same things when she had been Cybertronian. She was like Optimus in many ways. She longed to see that proper justice would be served. She wanted justice now! She wanted the true criminal for the theft to be caught in order to clear her good name. How many other innocent people had suffered a similar circumstance? She wondered how many times the Decepticons got away with their criminal acts or was justice ever served when it came to them? She didn't know. She hoped so.

It still hurt. Her honor and her reputation were being slandered. It wasn't fair!

Brittany watched a G1 episode on a free online website. For some reason, her favorite Decepticon was Soundwave. He just seemed cool to her. He was definitely intelligent and very cunning. He also had mind powers that just made him badass. He was ever loyal to Megatron but Brittany always felt like Soundwave should be the leader of the Decepticons.

_She never imagined that the real Soundwave would contact her…_

She got on the chat website with her friend Robin also known as AutobotGirl6. Robin told her in a nutshell that Megatron had been killed in battle when he stupidly shoved the Allspark into his own chest back in 2007. He became powerful for a short while until the energy overloaded and destroyed his spark.

That would explain why it was so easy to feel her father again for the first time that year.

They were having a pretty normal conversation until an unexpected visitor appeared. This person had hacked into Robin's email address and used the name EnemySpark. The name soon changed to DemonWave.

For the longest time, Brittany thought that Robin was pretending to be DemonWave. She thought that she was playing some kind of sick joke on her. That didn't stop the icy cold fear from gripping her heart. She knew…she knew it was real but was in complete denial. For the first time since she found out she was Optimus's daughter, she wished they weren't real. It was a much safer place when the Decepticons didn't exist. They were real…and they now had their sights zeroed in on her.

She was a prime target, no pun intended.

There was one part of one of their conversations that made her absolutely paranoid.

_Aethelgythe: "Where are you right now?"_

_Demonwave: "I'm in your town. Watch out…not everything is what it seems."_

The following day she went to Walmart with a friend and bought a baseball bat. Not that it would do any good. It would just bounce off his armor and he'd laugh at her puny and most failed efforts. It wasn't going to be enough to protect her unless it was possible she could smash out all of his windows or beat the crap out of his holo-form. What good would that do?! Did their holo-forms even feel pain? Whatever, the baseball bat made her feel a _little_ safer. If, he came to abduct her, she could at least say she tried to put up a fight. Well Robin managed to slash Soundwave's tires while he was in his navy blue H2 Hummer vehicle mode. All that did was piss him off. How lovely. She gripped the bat a little tighter when she spotted a navy blue H2 Hummer in the Walmart parking lot. The fear she felt gradually got worse…

_Demonwave: "Your father isn't coming back. So stop trying to call him here…it won't work."_

_Aethelgythe: "How could you possibly know that it won't?!"_

_Demonwave: "Your father is dead. That's why your chest hurts. I ate his spark…"_

_Aethelgythe: "LOL, that's hilarious because he feels alive to me."_

_Demonwave: "Your bond with him is grower fainter…why do you think that is?"_

_Aethelgythe: …_

_Demonwave: "You had important information within your mind the last time you were alive. I was unable to extract it because the Autobots found a way to hide and shield it from me. Right now, as I speak…I am slowly breaking down your mental barriers one by one. It's only a matter of time until I get what I want."_

_Aethelgythe: "How can I possibly have important data codes in my HUMAN brain when all that knowledge was within my OTHER head?! That doesn't make sense."_

_Demonwave: "I will see you both tonight. Sweet dreams…"_

Demonwave has left the chatroom.

_Aethelgythe: "We are in serious trouble…and my head is killing me."_

_Autobotgirl6: "Yeah, mine too."_

_Aethelgythe: "Alright, I have to finish my homework. Good night, Robin."_

_Autobotgirl6: "Me too. Good night."_

That night, Brittany had a nightmare. She was underwater and could somehow breathe. She was hiding from this evil, scary looking eel monster that reminded her of the eel from The Little Mermaid…weird. She tried to avoid running into him but turned a corner and he was there.

"**I found you!"**

He laughed as he charged right for her and attacked. He jumped on her and she screamed. She woke up immediately, breathing heavily. She sat still trying to calm her racing heart. So that's what Soundwave meant when he wished them sweet dreams. What a jerk…

The migraines persisted for weeks. He was right about breaking down her mental barriers. It was so painful. He was able to hear her thoughts though which really creeped her out.

_Soundwave: "I like to see you curious. There is something else that I can't quite wrap my mind around. The way you think, and draw conclusions is quite odd…"_

Maybe that was because of the mental illness? She didn't know. As the days slowly turned into weeks, Soundwave continued to torment them. Soundwave claimed that Optimus had hidden data codes within Robin's mind too, believing that her mind was the last place any Decepticon would ever think to look. Soundwave was relentless and didn't give them a break. Brittany went to a doctor about the migraines and they gave her prescription strength pain relievers, saying they were stress induced. No kidding. It didn't even take the edge off the pain. She stopped taking them, resigned to her fate.

She was losing hope that her father had felt or heard her cry for help. It seemed hopeless.

Then she had another dream…

She felt her father through their bond minutes before falling asleep.

_She dreamt of him._

_This was no ordinary dream. She could see, feel, and talk to him as if they were actually together again!_

_Brittany saw him from a distance. He was standing on the opposite side of a ravine that divided them. He saw her and waved to get her attention. She felt so happy because she knew it was really him! She wanted to get over to where he was but there was a tree log that she had to cross to get there. She looked down and saw that darkness was all there was waiting for her if she fell off. Optimus had been encouraging her to come to him. She took a few steps onto the log, but almost slipped. She grabbed onto that end and cried out to him._

"_Father I can't! I'm scared I'll fall off!"_

"_Hold on, my child. I'll help you!"_

_He told her to hang on and he picked up the log like a see-saw and sent her flying through the air. Optimus caught her in his arms. The second they were together again, the landscape changed. Everything was so bright and filled with light, like the sun was shining at its brightest. There was a hill sloping downward and some trees were shading the top of the hill where another Autobot was using a gun turret to launch missiles at Megatron who was trying to dodge them at the bottom of the hill. This particular Autobot was keeping Megatron at bay so that she and her father could be together for a little while. She locked eyes on Megatron and took a step towards him when she heard him beckoning her to come to him._

"_No child! Don't go that way! Come to me, my daughter," Optimus urged her away from the danger._

_She turned away from Megatron and as soon as she did, he disappeared from sight. She went and sat on her father's lap. Her father assured her that she was safe. Beside them, was a beautiful field of colorful flowers and a running stream. The place they were in was paradise._

_She hugged him and rested against her father's chest._

"_I love you so much father."_

"_I love you too. More than you know."_

"_I've missed you."_

"_I've missed you too, my daughter…I've missed you more."_

_As she rested her head against his chest she was stunned._

"_Father! I can feel and hear your spark beating!"_

_He laughed and told her he could feel and hear hers too._

_They simply rested together, like they had in the old days. Then he moved slightly, startling her. He began to tell her something sad that she really didn't want to hear._

"_I'm sorry, my child. I'm sorry that I can never see you again in the waking world."_

"_No father…don't say that! Please. I want us to stay like this forever."_

"_So do I…but all dreams end eventually. You are going to wake up very soon."_

"_I don't want to wake up! I want to stay with you!"_

_She latched onto him tighter. He hugged her again._

"_I love you, my child."_

_Before she could tell him she loved him, she was ripped from his embrace and she cried in despair as everything around her began to fade._

Brittany woke up crying. It was 3 in the morning. For a moment, she couldn't remember what had happened. Did she have a dream? Why was she crying? Then her spark translated what had happened in the dream, to her human mind and she remembered. She cried so hard, with pure sweet relief. She had really been with her father, even if only in their dreams…made possible by their parent-child spark bond. She cried tears of joy.

It had been so real. Like they were really together again. He looked exactly the way he had when she had last seen him. Only bad thing was, her human mind couldn't remember what he looked like upon awakening. Brittany knew she would recognize him if she ever did see him again.

She fell back asleep.

That was the happiest dream she'd ever had in her life. She wrote it down the next morning, so she wouldn't forget it. That dream was going to help her face the darkness that was soon coming…

She didn't put two and two together. She didn't know that the Autobot holding Megatron back was Elita, her father's new sparkmate. Brittany didn't remember that Megatron had once been bonded to her. The only way that any Cybertronian could see each other in their dreams was when the dreamers in question were all alive.

_**Megatron had returned...**_

To Be Continued!


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Thanks DarkMaiden95 for reviewing.

**Chapter 4**

Brittany had learned to fear her aggressive and hot tempered stepfather growing up. She had been afraid for so many years. She learned to look away from his fiery eyes…all she could see, was the hate and the malice within them. They say your eyes are the windows to your soul. She didn't have the heart to look into them anymore and it made it difficult to look anyone in the eyes after that. She didn't have the courage. It was taking years but she was slowly breaking out of her shell. Brittany loved to look people in their eyes when they were laughing or smiling. There was no malcontent hidden within them, then. That was the only time she ever did because that was the only time she ever felt safe.

She was always afraid to see the anger in anyone. Brittany, thanks to her Cybertronian soul, also known as a spark, was still very empathetic in her human life. She was very sensitive and could always feel the emotions in the people around her. Anger was one thing she sensed most of her life…she could feel it rolling off of Henry in dark, palpable waves. She could practically see the red aura surrounding him when he was lost in it. It was frightening.

Love however was different. It was light. It was hard for her to see much of that in the world anymore. Humans were an evil race, born into darkness. Humans lost their connection with the Creator when they rebelled against him and sinned. They had to learn God's truth and re-connect with Him again. Only then…could the human race know how to _truly_ love. Earth was a dark, dark place to be. She hated being here.

She wished she was courageous and brave like her father, Optimus Prime. She wished she could look him in the optical sensors again. Brittany knew that the only thing she would find in them…was love. Even though she couldn't remember what he looked like, she did remember that his optics were beautiful. She felt safe looking into them.

Now she was afraid that she was going to be tortured and was going to die an agonizingly slow and excruciating death at the hands of the Decepticons. This was a different kind of fear and one that she hated.

There was a time however, when Brittany was fearless. She had been unafraid to do things that no one else would do…

_She was at recess in the first grade. There was a netted pyramid stretching up, looking to her like a mini mountain. The other kids would only climb halfway. They didn't have the courage to go any further than that. It was quite a climb._

_Her small hands firmly grasped each netted wrung and she hauled her small body heavenward. Heights didn't frighten her. Her spirit soared the higher she climbed and she felt exhilaration and true freedom for the first time. The other kids down below, looking even smaller than they had moments before, were pointing up at her and loudly voiced their awe and disbelief. Brittany touched the very top of the pyramids pole, earning applause._

_She made it. She went to a place her peers had never gone or dared to go. Brittany enjoyed the view her new vantage point granted her. She could see the whole playground beneath her feet where the other children were laughing, chasing each other, and playing games. She saw one of the teachers panicking, running right for her._

"_Get down from there immediately, before you fall and hurt yourself!"_

_If they were so afraid she would fall and get hurt, then why did they place this climbing structure in the middle of the playground? They should not offer her the challenge and then deny her of it. She sighed in disappointment and began her slow decent. When her feet touched the ground, her schoolmates patted her on the back, congratulating her. The other kids scattered when the teacher came storming over, clearly displeased. Brittany flinched and bowed her head and silently took the scolding from the adult that had ordered her to return to the Earth._

That was not the first nor the only time that something of this nature had occurred in her life.

_When she was even smaller, there was another playground with two slides. One was shorter and smaller for the other kids her age, while the other was much taller for the big kids. She went and began climbing up the big one. She made it halfway up when she heard the shocked cries of dismay. One of the adults watching the children grabbed her around her middle and pulled her away._

"_Hey! No fair!"_

_She was not happy that they had ruined her fun._

_The adult placed her back on the ground and looked kindly at her. _

"_You can go on this slide when you are a little bigger. For now, you have to slide down the other one, okay sweetie?"_

_Brittany nodded in understanding._

"_Okay"_

_The following day she asked the adults if she was big enough to use the tall slide yet. They kindly but firmly told her "no". This did not discourage or deter her. For the next two consecutive weeks, every single day she would ask if she could go on the bigger slide, claiming that she was big enough despite her small stature. Finally her persistence paid off. The adults must have gotten tired of her pestering them all the time and allowed her too, under their sharp eyed scrutiny of course. She once again surpassed her peers. It was quite an accomplishment and the child felt proud._

Maybe she **was** courageous like her father. Maybe that courage was still within her despite the times she felt afraid. Maybe she did have courage despite her current circumstances and the danger she'd been in all her life. It wasn't until she was a little older that she discovered that Unicron had been trying to destroy her since she was a child.

_She was seven years old. She and her mother joined a family friend named Bridgette onto a paddle boat that took them into a small lake. The child did not yet know how to swim. They had life vests on although Brittany's was not zipped up. She thought nothing of it, until a loving voice spoke within her heart and in her mind._

_**Zip up your life vest, child.**_

_She was just learning at that age that God, Primus, had been with her since she was born and that she was just now hearing His voice for the first time. He was going to be her protector when no one else could be._

"_I'm going to zip up my life vest now, mommy."_

_Her mother paused in the conversation._

"_Okay honey, you do that."_

_She obeyed the voice and zipped it up. _

_They reached the dock a few minutes later and Bridgette got out first, followed by Brittany. Her mother was struggling to get off since the boat began to drift a little bit away from the dock. The child put one foot on the boat and another on the dock to try and steady it. This only caused the boat to drift further away and the result was that the child fell in with a loud splash._

_The young child had taken a breath before falling in and could feel herself sinking down to the bottom. She felt seaweed things all around her. Upon falling into the lake, she recalled that the water had been pretty murky. She voiced her curious thoughts within her own mind and was a little startled but pleased that the loving voice responded in kind._

_**Should I open my eyes now?**_

_**No child. Keep them closed. You will be okay.**_

_It felt like she had been down there a long time and it was amazing that her lungs were not yet screaming at her for air. The frightening thought never occurred to her that the weeds might have tangled her, keeping her trapped. Her Guardian came to her rescue and made sure the air in her lungs lasted her long enough for the weeds to float away from her small body._

_The life vest soon propelled her upwards and as soon as she resurfaced she inhaled a large breath of air. She had kept her eyes firmly shut, not knowing that if she had opened them, she would have panicked and would have drowned._

"_Here I am mommy!"_

_Her mother had been in a panic, afraid that her daughter had been trapped beneath the boat. Brittany rubbed her eyes and opened them, smiling up at Bridgette and her mother sheepishly. She felt a little embarrassed that she had fallen in to begin with._

_The little girl didn't know it…but the Destroyer had been intent on drowning her that day. She probably would have if Primus hadn't intervened and instructed her on what to do in order to save her life._

There were times Brittany was sure, that the Lifemaker had saved her from things she had never been aware of before. Although there had been another time when she was a freshman in college that Unicron tried to end her life.

_She was on her bicycle waiting for the crosswalk signal to change so she could cross the street. She was on her way to her part time job at the woodcraft shop. She only worked there a couple hours a day and accumulated ten, maybe twelve hours at most per week._

_Her laptop, wedged securely within her laptop bag was slung over her body. The strap was firmly across her chest and the bag hung against her side._

_The turn signal finally changed. She looked both ways as she always did and began to ride her bike across the white striped pedestrian lane, passing the stopped cars sitting to her left, waiting for their turn for the light to turn green after all the college students had made it to the other side. Brittany was the last one to cross._

_Suddenly and without warning that voice returned startling her immensely._

_**Child! STOP!**_

_Then it felt like someone grabbed her laptop bag and yanked it, HARD pulling her back. She nearly fell off her bike and slammed the brakes on. _

_A car screeched to a halt about one foot in front of her. The driver, a lady with curly blonde hair looked right at her startled and slightly annoyed, most likely in a hurry to get somewhere before zooming away without a word._

_The lady had sped through a red light, nearly killing her. Her family told her a while later that it was probably a guardian angel that saved her._

Brittany wondered looking back, how many other times Unicron had tried to end her.

Maybe it was a good thing she didn't know. Probably more times than she could count.

_There was a time on the highway that she was driving her mother somewhere when she looked over her shoulder to change lanes and saw a car drifting beside her, coming into her lane nearly hitting her. Brittany screamed and jerked the wheel away to avoid the collision. The result was that two of her tires left the ground and she nearly spun out of control where she would have crashed and barrel rolled. Her car would most likely have gotten smashed up by the other cars around her that were recklessly driving at top speeds breaking the limit. That would have been a gruesome way to die…_

_She must have had some invisible guardian angels protecting her that day too. Or it could have been the invisible hand of Primus Himself that pushed her vehicle over so that her two left tires returned to the asphalt._

As a human, Brittany suffered what any other human would. Sickness, injury, pain. Unicron tried another time to kill her and he almost succeeded too…

_She was about thirteen or fourteen years old in middle school. She had been puking sick for a while and her parents and a nurse shrugged it off as just the flu. She was so weak, she could barely stand. A fever raged within her and she looked pale as a ghost. She was encouraged to keep down fluids to avoid dehydration. She couldn't even swallow water and keep that down. The child's health continued to worsen until she was hunched over clutching her middle, moaning and crying. She couldn't even walk anymore it was that excruciating. Brittany wished she would die. It was so miserable and it felt like she __**was**__ going to die. Her mother was the one to take her to the emergency room. Henry didn't think it was that serious._

_He had never been so wrong…_

_Her mother did everything she could to avoid hitting the potholes in the road. Every bump and bounce elicited more pain filled cries and tears. When they got to the hospital, she was rushed into the ER in a wheelchair. The doctors ran a lot of tests and discovered what the true problem was._

_Brittany was rushed into emergency surgery. She could remember feeling deathly afraid laying on that gurney as the hospital staff wheeled her away from her mother, not even giving her a chance to say good-bye. The medical team scared her the way they were freaking out._

"_We have to operate NOW!"_

"_Hand me that syringe!"_

_They shouted orders at each other, the medical team scrambled to save the dying child._

_A couple of them lifted her from the bed and onto an operating table. They strapped her arms down and began to administer heavy anesthetics, pumping life-giving fluids into her tortured body. The child wondered as overpowering drugs rendered her unconscious…if she would ever wake up again._

She did.

_When she awoke hours later in a recovery room she panicked when her fog covered brain couldn't understand why there was an oxygen mask over her face. She felt like she was suffocating and felt herself thrashing trying to rip it off her. A nurse beside her tried to calm her down. A woman stood up from where she had been sitting nearby and came to her side._

"_It's okay Brittany honey, mommy's here."_

_Brittany cried and tried to get away from her. She must have still been delirious from the medication and from the fever. She didn't even recognize her own mother…she looked like a complete stranger, like she'd never even met her before. The temporary amnesia faded and the child heard the nurse comforting the distraught mother, telling her it was normal and that this happened occasionally. Brittany recognized her mother a few minutes later and broke down sobbing. She was so weak, so tired, and so sick. Her middle hurt so badly. It hurt to move. The nurse apologized to Brittany's mother and told her she had to leave so that the child could rest. She had a long recovery ahead of her. She found out a few hours later, that her appendix had literally __**rotted**__ inside her body. They said it had been dangerously close to rupturing. The surgeon smiled at her as she was resting in bed and told her she was lucky to be alive._

"_If you had come in any later than you had…I'm afraid we wouldn't be having this conversation now."_

_He then offered to show her pictures of what her rotten appendix looked like. Brittany felt nauseous at the thought and declined. She was glad they saved her. She had to stay in the hospital three days and four nights. It was a Christmas she would never forget. _

_One of the nurses that was caring for her the first night was dressed like an elf. He came and took her vitals and checked on her by the hour. Brittany was so miserable…it got even more so when the elf nurse came and took all of her blankets from her, leaving her shivering on her bed. Tears filled her eyes when he explained that he had to take them in order to bring her raging fever down. Why did this have to happen to her?_

_It didn't feel like it was ever going to get better and she was freezing without her blankets. _

_She cried softly, feeling so alone. _

_Another nurse came in and administered more pain medication, helping the child to sleep. She wished and imagined that she had a father that loved her, standing next to her invisibly…watching her and holding her hand. She remembered that God was always with her and that He was right next to her. She felt a little less lonely then. _

_When she awoke again later, her blankets had been returned and the nurses had the courtesy of tucking her in bed like her mother used to. They told her to get up on her feet and go for a walk down the hallway. It hurt too much. Brittany whimpered and didn't think that she could do it. They told her she had to, if she ever wanted to get better. They had to fill her tummy up with gas so they could operate. Now she had to walk to get it all out. It was so embarrassing… they were patient and helped her take one step at a time. By the third day, she could walk just fine on her own and was well enough to eat real food. She shivered at the memory, of what they had initially tried to feed her the day after surgery…argh, she hated jello…_

_She found out later that Henry never came to visit her or to see how she was doing. The rest of her family came to visit her two days later…they at least were kind enough to wait for her to return home so they could celebrate a late Christmas together and open gifts._

Maybe the malicious attempts on her life had to do with her future destiny, which she still had no way of knowing. Brittany daydreamed and wished she would come back to life as a Cybertronian and return to the Autobots and her father, so that she could be just like him. That was her dream and funny enough as it was, that was the sole thing that terrified the Decepticons. They had been afraid since they discovered that Prime had another child. They were afraid that she would indeed grow up and be just like him.

_If only…_

So maybe her fears were needless. She had Primus protecting her. He had done a marvelous job thus far.

Then there was another matter that needed resolving while she was in college. She doubted that Optimus Prime, her father, could ever love her now that she was human. It all began with a nightmare…

_She was in hell. It was burning and there were other people there screaming in pain, being tortured. Megatron was keeping her captive. She begged and pleaded for her father to come and save her. Then as if in answer, she saw her father appear on a hill somewhere ahead. He was cast in shadows so that all she could see were his bright blue optics shining in the darkness. He took one look at her, shook his head sadly, and then turned his back on her and walked away. He abandoned her! Megatron laughed maniacally._

"_**Your father doesn't love you, child. Otherwise he **_**would**_** rescue you!"**_

_His harsh, demonic laughter followed after her, slowly fading out as she returned to the waking world._

Maybe he was right. Maybe Optimus Prime couldn't love her because she was human. She was weaker now. Much, much smaller. Far less intelligent than she used to be. And she felt inferior. The Cybertronians seemed so flawless and perfect compared to the human race, at least physically.

Brittany cried in complete despair and believed what Megatron had said.

Little did she know, that she would soon come to find that she had been believing the most ridiculous of lies. And that Optimus not only loved her with all his spark but he admired his daughter as well.

_She had exceeded his expectations, of what he thought she would become…_

TO BE CONTINUED!

Author's Note: Yep a little bit shorter than the other chapters but this felt like a good place to stop for now. Thanks for reading and reviewing! : )


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Thanks again DarkMaiden95 for reviewing! This chapter is shorter and is kind of depressing. Be warned, there is some swearing. Swearing is the main reason why I rated this story T as well as some suggestive content. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 5**

Brittany was taught since she was a child that crying was a weakness.

_She was eight years old and she had just finished scrubbing down the bathroom. It was clean. At least to her. For Henry, it wasn't good enough._

"_See this?! That isn't clean. This is a half-assed job. You are going to stay in here until I say it's good enough. Got it?!" He yelled at her._

_She started to cry, her feelings hurt. She had done the best she could do for a child her age. Nothing she did was ever good enough for him._

"_**Stop crying**__! Or I will give you something to cry about!" he snarled at her._

_She sniffled and wiped the tears away, choking them back down. She nodded her head meekly and got out of his way and got back to work._

Years later, she supposed she had learned a valuable thing. When it came to cleaning, everything was spotless and practically perfect. It made her a little obsessive compulsive the older she got. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. She just wished she had learned that lesson in a more loving way.

It was **never** okay to cry. No matter how badly she was hurting on the inside. She never cried in public. If she was hurting she would hold the pain within her heart until she was alone in a private place, like the sanctuary of her room. Then and only then, did she silently let her tears fall freely. The only time she had cried in public was when she had been **seriously** hurt. Like when she had been dying from a rotten appendix or when she dislocated her shoulder _three_ times. Not the kind of dislocation that could easily be popped back in place. Her shoulder was _completely_ out of the socket and it took 2 doctors to put it back in. Or the time she broke her ankle. That was probably the only time it was ever acceptable to cry.

She learned to override her pain with anger. She didn't hurt when she was angry and it felt like she was never going to hurt again. Brittany felt invincible. That never seemed to fix it though. As soon as the anger and the rage wore off, the pain returned. The only way she could ever heal, was to cry and release the agony in that manner. She hated feeling weak. She hated crying. It became detestable to her.

It did teach her to be tough though.

_After she broke her ankle, she had to use crutches until she could graduate to a walking cast. Using the crutches really hurt her underarms. And padding didn't seem to help. She did not cry. Even when she wanted too._

_She was on them, trying to catch up as her family walked ahead, leaving her in the dust. Henry never waited for her. He never slowed his pace on her account. She learned to either keep up or get left behind. That was another lesson that taught her to be strong. Although there was one time she was exhausted and all of her energy and strength had been spent. She stopped and just stood there leaning on her crutches, ignoring Henry's angry shouting, demanding that she keep going. Was it going to kill him if she took two minutes to rest? That pissed her off. She would fantasize all the time about beating the living crap out of the man. Sometimes he asked too much of her and wasn't realistic. There was no love, no compassion, and no mercy coming from him. It became easier the older she got, to completely squander the rising feeling that was associated with crying. It didn't always work though. _

Later in college, using her spark bond with her father Optimus Prime, they both shared a past memory.

_When her Cybertronian mother had been murdered by the Decepticons, and she felt the searing pain tearing through her spark, she ran to her father. He held her in his arms lovingly and did everything he could to comfort her. He allowed her to cry and even cried with her. He held her close, softly telling his daughter stories of himself and her mother. He told her about how they had first met. It was a beautiful story. The stories soothed her enough for her to fall into a deep recharge. _

_Optimus told Brittany…Aethelgythe… that back then he had wanted to take all of her pain away and make everything okay. The loving father had allowed his child to rest on his chest and he watched over her while she recharged. It was so perfect. He felt so very lucky to feel her spark beating. He wanted them to stay like that forever…_

Wow. He was…and still was, the best father in the universe. He was the best father she could have hoped for or dreamed of. She felt so lucky that he was her dad. She was _so incredibly lucky_ and counted him as a blessing despite everything that had happened to her.

Maybe crying wasn't such a bad thing after all. There was a teacher once that even told her that.

_She was fighting back the tears. Someone had hurt her, emotionally traumatizing her. The teacher saw her resisting and knelt down in front of her. She placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder and made her look her in the eyes._

"_It's okay…it's okay to cry. Just let it out. You'll feel better."_

_She released the damn and her tears poured out. Her heart did begin to feel better and it soon melted away._

There was another memory she had of when she'd been with her father all those years ago.

_She was still grieving over the loss of her mother and she stood in front of the observation deck, staring out at all of the twinkling stars. Looking at them calmed her tumultuous thoughts and gave her a small measure of peace. She stiffened when she both heard and felt her father walking towards her from down the hall. She turned her head away from him and remained silent, forcing the quiet sobs away. Optimus approached her. Father and daughter stood side by side silently until he finally spoke._

"_Not all tears are an evil, child. It's okay."_

_Those words broke her barriers and she cried openly, releasing the sorrow and the pain that had steadily been building within her young spark. This was the first time she'd ever lost anyone dear to her. The first time she'd ever felt someone's death. Her father was compassionate and loving. He hated seeing her so heartbroken. He embraced his child and flooded their bond with all the love he had for her. Her sobs soon abated and she rested her head on his shoulder and the pain faded to a dull ache._

Crying did make you feel better. Maybe it _**was**_ okay.

Brittany was sure to shed many more tears in the dark, dark days to come. She came to treasure her good memories that she had of her father and the Autobots. It was the good memories that would give her courage…that would give her joy amidst the grief and the pain.

Megatron was in the process of coming back to life the latter half of 2009. Soundwave in attempting to resurrect Unicron, unbeknownst to him, was bringing Megatron back to life instead. Megatron's spirit returned first. He possessed Robin since her soul was not pure. He would call Brittany on her phone and talk to her. It was seriously creepy… and scary.

"_**Hello Aethelgythe. Remember me?"**_

_She felt icy cold fear gripping her heart._

"_Who am I speaking to?"_

"_**Who do you think?"**_

_Her blood ran cold and she KNEW who was talking to her._

"_Megatron…"_

"_**I can feel the fear and nervousness radiating from your body," he laughed.**_

_She remained silent and felt near panic at what he said next._

"_**I quite enjoy the fun I've had with Robin. She is so easily broken…"**_

"_Leave Robin out of this! If you want to hurt someone, come after me!"_

"_**I'm not interested in you at all. I have much bigger plans that I must see too."**_

_Something was bothering her. She shouldn't have asked him. He would probably just lie to her._

"_Megatron, what was my mother's name?"_

"_**She was some stupid femme that did not have a translatable Earth name."**_

"_I don't believe you."_

"_**Believe what you want. Would you like to know exactly what it was I did to you? I began first by—"**_

_Brittany hung up on him before he could tell her. She really didn't care to know and certainly didn't want to remember._

_Megatron texted her then._

_**How dare you hang up on me! Because you hung up on me, I will see to it that this pathetic child Robin suffers because of your insolence.**_

_Brittany panicked and tried texting and calling him but Megatron ignored her, leaving her alone with her guilt and her fear._

Then not long after that a few days later something most disturbing and traumatizing happened to Brittany.

_She was on the phone with Robin talking to her. Robin was telling her about what it felt like when Megatron possessed her. Then as she was explaining and describing it, Brittany felt it._

_It felt like something cold and slimy was sliding across her body. Then if felt like someone was pushing her down…she felt like someone was trying to take suppress her and take over completely. She felt her mind being pushed back as another being tried to be dominant. It felt like she was being pushed under water._

_Megatron tried to possess her. He failed though. He failed because she did have a pure spark._

_Still, it was the creepiest most traumatizing thing she'd ever experienced in all her human life._

Thankfully Megatron never tried to do it again. He probably didn't need to. He succeeding in scaring her. He continued to torment her as time went on.

Her grief began when the accursed spark bond she had with Megatron returned the January following her college graduation. He had been fully resurrected. It wasn't until the December of 2010, a full year after graduation, that he forced her to remember what he had done to her, to create their bond to begin with. Brittany had never cried so hard in her life. She remembered the fear she'd felt…the horror at what he was doing to her. The feelings of helplessness and despair.

Once he came back to life, he bond blocked her from her father. He had done that to her the last time she'd been alive. He used their spark bond to see her in her dreams, twisting them into her darkest nightmares. She suffered day and night for nearly two years. She had to feel him touching her spark and heard him say all sorts of creepy things during the day. And then saw him in her nightmares at night. The bipolar disorder got worse and she had to be hospitalized because she had been intent on taking her own life.

It was March 7th, 2011 when Megatron possessed Charissa one last time to talk to her over the phone.

"_**I'm going to make you mine. You will be my queen and together we will destroy your father, the Autobots, and then the universe."**_

"_I'm never joining you, you sick bastard! You are a perverted pedophile and I will __**never **__be yours!"_

"_**Oh…but you **_**will**_**."**_

"_Megatron you need help! You need to see a psychiatrist and get your head examined because it isn't screwed on right. You have a mental disorder!"_

"_**You sound just like your father!"**_

"_Why thank you!"_

"_**That wasn't a compliment!"**_

_She laughed so hard she cried but her laughing died down at what he said next._

"_**The battles lately have been child's play. I like giving the Autobots false hope before crushing them with the power Unicron gave me!"**_

"_Didn't dying teach you __**anything**__?!"_

"_**I was made more powerful."**_

"_Yeah, well that power is going to be stripped from you and Unicron will devour your soul. Everything my father taught me is true."_

"_**No, your father taught you wrong. You are misguided…and I will teach you truth"**_

_They bickered and argued about who was right and who was wrong. He creeped her out then by saying he 'loved' her and that she should feel honored that Megatron likes her like that. He then told her that she was part of a prophecy that talked about Unicron's children bringing about the next apocalypse._

"_I don't believe you. And I'm nothing and no one…"_

"_**You must not talk that way about yourself, my dear."**_

_That was the last straw. He completely succeeded in grossing and creeping her out._

"_This conversation is OVER! Have fun burning in hell you sicko!"_

_She hung up on him._

Some months later when November rolled around, she had the strongest feeling that something major was going to happen and that her life would change forever.

She prayed fervently night and day that Primus would take all the bad things and turn them around for good. And she was doubting once again that everything was real. She wanted proof. Solid, undeniable proof that would either prove or disprove whether or not the Cybertronians were real and that she was really the daughter of Optimus Prime.

Her prayers were answered. Just not in the way she had imagined.

_It was nearing evening and she was in the middle of getting ready to go somewhere. She felt Megatron caressing her spark again and finally snapped. Firstly, she came to pity the monster for hating love. He was missing out on all the good things he could have had. He saw love as a weakness. He hated it with a burning passion. Aethelgythe knew that love was the greatest strength. How misguided he was…_

_So she opened up the bond she had with him and hugged him through their link, sending him love. It was not in a romantic way but she loved him as a lost soul who was drowning in the dark. A spark that would be damned for eternity. She hoped that it would miraculously change him and that he'd remember what love felt like. When was the last time that anyone had loved him?_

_He withdrew from her and blocked their bond._

_Later that night…the searing pain ripped through her spark and she felt agony. She cried out in pain and fell to her knees clenching a hand over her chest._

_The bond with Megatron…had been severed._

_She seriously doubted that he had died. He felt pretty alive right before he severed it. Wow…he really did hate love._

It was the undeniable proof that she needed. Primus answered her prayer. They were real and she was really the daughter of Optimus Prime. Everything she remembered…had really happened. She was finally free.

The pain was terrible and it plagued her for another three years. It made her human body violently sick at times. She suffered many sleepless nights because of the pain. During that time, she was lost in darkness. She could not feel her father again and wondered why. She was afraid that they had lost their child-parent bond completely. She panicked and hoped to God it wasn't her father that had died. He didn't.

Over the course of time as her damaged spark slowly began to heal she would feel faint feelings from him.

She prayed night and day that the bond with her father would be restored and that she would be able to feel him again as she had back in 2009.

_There was a day while she was working in the grocery store as a cashier that she felt badly about herself. She had low self-esteem and did not feel very attractive. Her heart was very heavy because of this. Then she got the whisper of a feeling, very faint but recognizable…that her father thought she was beautiful no matter what she looked like. It made her smile and her spark soared with joy! _

_There were other times that she would faintly feel that he loved her or that he was thinking about her. It gave her hope. It gave her hope that the darkness was finally going to end and that everything would be better._

Brittany cried tears of joy when she felt that he loved her. Even if their bond was faint, she could still feel it. He really did love her, a lot. She loved him too. And missed him so much it hurt.

She dreamed of the day she would see him again but remembered her father's words from 2009.

She would never see him again…while she was human. She cried many nights because of this and it made the pain she was feeling that much worse. He told her in their spark bond dream years ago that he could not see her. There were reasons for that. They were reasons she understood. That didn't mean she liked it.

So Brittany, formerly known as Aethelgythe… went back to dreaming. She dreamt of the day when she would be reunited with him again.

_She dreamt of the day she would finally be in his arms at long last._

To be continued!

Author's Note: It might be a little while until I can post another update. Also, memories in the next chapter will be much happier. This chapter was kind of depressing lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Thanks DarkMaiden95 for being my most loyal reader and my sole reviewer lol. One is better than none!

**Chapter 6**

Her favorite part about being human…was the food. Human food was so amazing! There were so many different flavors and tastes, textures and combinations. Human food made energon look boring, at least in her opinion.

Brittany took a bite of her favorite meal, homemade macaroni and cheese. The Autobots didn't know what they were missing! She knew for a fact that Sunstreaker would not agree…considering the extent of the human digestive process. A lot of the Autobots would probably be on the same page as Sunstreaker. She smiled at the thought as she took another savory bite. She loved cheese…and oreo brownie sundaes. Actually she liked and loved a lot of human foods. She hated spicy food though. And there were some things other humans ate that she would NEVER try! Like asparagus or eggplant…Brittany shuddered at the thought. She could live just fine without eating those.

Her contemplations did not end there. Had she been Cybertronian first arriving on Earth, on the outside looking in, Brittany would probably have found it absolutely revolting that humans ate dead animals…creatures that had once been alive. Plants too. She probably would have found that insanely weird. Fruits and vegetables constituted a good portion of human nutrients. Wow, everything humans ate had once been alive… She'd grown up eating baked chicken, cheeseburgers, and salads. So eating those things was only natural and did not repulse her at all. Especially since they tasted pretty darn good. Aethelgythe could still see it from a Cybertronian perspective. It was very interesting to see it both ways.

There was a lot she felt, that the Autobots did not know. She had been where they had never gone. She experienced things they never would. She felt like an exchange student. Earth was not her true home. She went there to learn and to grow. She was sent there to be made stronger so that she could fulfill her future destiny…whatever that was. Her human family had been like her host family, welcoming her with loving arms for a short time and teaching her all about human customs and traditions before she returned home.

She was a child of two worlds. She got the best and the worst of both.

Her human mother confessed something amazing later in Brittany's life. Her mother told her that if she had never been born, she would have committed suicide. She wanted to love and be loved in return. Brittany had given her that. Brittany's mother had always called her, "my precious angel" from the time she was born. Aethelgythe originally came from the stars…maybe in a way she was an angel.

Her time as a human taught her many valuable lessons. Primus had taught her so many good and wonderful things. For example, Aethelgythe learned that humans were not an inferior race. Just because they were smaller, weaker, had shorter lifespans, and were less intelligent they were still equally Primus's children. Cybertronians and humans were created by the same Maker. They were equal despite their many vast differences.

She felt ashamed that she had at one time, felt that the human race was inferior…that they were beneath her. How wrong she'd been.

There were still many things she needed to learn. And she wanted too! She wistfully wished that she could have a second chance at her old life…to learn everything her father could possibly teach her. It was during the darkness of her human life, after the bond with Megatron returned, after the bond was severed, while it felt like her spark was slowly killing her human body…was the time that her fight against evil raged silently behind closed doors. She did not fight a physical war that the Cybertronians currently were. This war was for her very spark.

There were times it felt like something dark and sinister was caressing her spark, trying to seduce her to submit entirely and fall under evil's sway. _Something or someone…wanted her to fall._ Brittany suffered tremendously because of this. She had to suffer excruciating, Cybertronian pain from the severed bond, suffer intense sickness because of that, as well as suffer human pain and sickness all at the same time. They didn't call it hell on Earth for nothing. This however, was a new kind of hell.

She was probably the only human on the planet that suffered the way she did. Humans were so lucky to be so blissfully ignorant. They were lucky they didn't have to suffer this pain. Humans did not have spark bonds…there was probably a good reason for that. Primus had made her spark compatible with a human body for a very temporary time. Brittany could feel her time was nearing. She didn't know when or how it was going to happen but she knew it was coming.

There were many times that she wanted to die or just give up. The dark powers that be, promised her that all of her pain and suffering would end if she surrendered. She first thought it was Megatron while they were still bonded. It continued long after the bond with him was severed. Then she thought maybe it was Soundwave trying to influence her mind and her spark to become one with darkness. Maybe it was the Fallen or Unicron…she didn't really know. The only thing she knew is that she felt this evil entity, tempting her and enticing her to surrender her mind, body, and spark to darkness. To just let it seep into her very core. It wasn't until a little later during one of her battles that her true enemy revealed himself.

_**Child, open your spark to me. Let the darkness in…it will give you power and true strength. Submit yourself to me…bow to me…and your suffering will end. **_

"_I cannot."_

_**You've been Primus's slave your whole life…for far too long. I can offer you TRUE freedom! I can give you whatever it is that you desire. Power, riches, fame…I can even make it possible for you to see your father again, if you just let me help you.**_

"_You might be right. You might let me see my father again… but I know I would want to murder him then. I would rather die than betray him or the Autobots."_

_**Give yourself to me!**_

_Brittany shut her eyes, breathing heavily as this overwhelming desire…this dark need to obey the voice began to flood her spark. To do what he asked of her. She got a small taste of what it would feel like if she surrendered completely. It DID feel good…she almost did let the darkness consume her spark…Aethelgythe felt her firm resolve nearly crumble. She nearly surrendered. She forced the words out as she clenched the clothing just above her chest, where her spark would be if she were still Cybertronian. It came out as a whisper…_

"_I really want too. I can't…"_

_**Yes you can. It's so easy…just open your spark and let me in. **_

"_No…I won't."_

_**I can give you great power you've never known. Even Megatron would serve you…**_

"_But it's wrong."_

_**In time, child…you will see it my way. You WILL surrender yourself to me. You are so close now…so close to submitting to my will.**_

"_I will never bow to you. My spark will NEVER be yours!"_

_She felt that evil pull on her spark, tighten for just a moment, forcing the breath out of her lungs._

_**I will make you suffer immensely, until you finally give in to me.**_

_Brittany laughed and shook her head opening her eyes._

"_Then I guess I will have to suffer."_

_**So be it.**_

"_There is one thing I want the most…but it's something that you can never give me."_

_**What is that? Whatever Primus can offer you…I can give you as well.**_

_Brittany glared defiantly ahead, burning a hole through the evil, invisible entity standing before her. She knew then it was Unicron speaking to her._

"_The only thing I want more than seeing my father again…is to be granted the power and the strength, to defeat AND __**destroy**__ you!"_

_She felt the evil withdraw from her, finally leaving her in peace._

The price was too high. She knew if she surrendered to him, the darkness would consume her entirely. Thanks to her father, she thought of consequences long before she did anything. She knew the consequences for surrendering… would be too damn her spark for eternity. Her father Optimus, had taught her that many, many years ago. Her father had been so right about everything!

Brittany feared becoming the very opposite of who she was right now. She did know that only good things came from the hand of Primus. Unicron was a liar. Why should she take what the evil one had to offer her when Primus could give her something even greater?

That was one of her dreams, her aspirations. She wished that she could be the one angel in the human bible that would be the one to cast Satan down into the lake of fire for all eternity. The one Cybertronian to destroy Unicron. That, would be the greatest destiny of all! Brittany felt that a destiny like that would be considered a high honor…and one that she would have to earn. Right now she didn't feel lucky enough or even worthy enough for something like that. That one destiny was her greatest dream. Perhaps it was overreaching…

Shouldn't her father have a great destiny like that? Shouldn't HE be the one to cast Unicron out? Why would Primus pick _her _of all people for something that great?

These silent ponderings took her back to her childhood…

_She was in gym class in the fifth grade. They were about to play dodgeball but the team captains had to pick their players. They always picked her last. She was never first. She wasn't popular or as athletic, like the most of them were. When it came time for her team captain to pick her, not that it was much of a choice because she was dead last…he looked at her in an almost disgusted way and shrugged._

"_I __**guess**__ you're on my team."_

_She nodded silently and joined in. _

_The first time she had played dodgeball a couple years back when she was younger, she was TERRIBLE at the sport. The older she got, the better she became with more experience. Soon, she was the fastest one on the team. She was agile and could dodge anything thrown at her. It soon became a very common thing for her to be the last man standing on her team. Her teammates that had been taken out of the game after they got hit were standing on the sidelines cheering for her. If she caught one of the thrown dodgeballs, SHE would get to pick which one of them got to join back in the game. It was quite an accomplishment considering the fact she had never had the chance to be a team captain._

_The following year, she got to be. When it was time for her to pick her players, she began with the least popular. She picked first… the ones that would have been last. She knew what it felt like to be last…to have no one want you. As it turned out, her team…the one she had selected, was the BEST because they had a greater sense of community than the other team. The other team, consisting of what they considered to be the 'best' players failed because they lacked humility._

_Her team had many things in common and because of this, they worked and played as one body. They were unstoppable._

_They won the next three dodgeball matches and were able to prove that just because you are last, doesn't make you the worst player._

She wondered if she would have been the one to take her father's place if she had remained Cybertronian. Aethelgythe knew without a doubt that nobody…not even she…could ever take his place. Who would want to follow her anyways? She wouldn't want them to follow her just because she was Optimus's daughter. She felt in her heart that leadership wasn't given…it was earned. She really didn't know if she'd ever be as great a leader as him…

That brought to mind another memory.

_She was in tenth grade. She just joined a year late in JROTC, the junior reserve officer training corp. It was the closest she ever got, to joining the military. They learned how to keep their uniforms in order, how to polish and shine their rank. They learned discipline and respect._

_She began as a squad member. She began as a private, at the very bottom of the chain of command. Later that year, she got promoted to the rank of sergeant and was made assistant squad leader. She got to take command of her squad and lead them when the squad leader was out sick. It was very fun and she loved it. _

_At first she had been nervous and scared. She was not used to being a leader and Brittany had doubts that she could even do it. It was scary but exciting to have her whole squad looking to her for direction. She learned how to command and how to take charge. Brittany became a natural at it._

_Her junior year in the eleventh grade, when it came time for the teachers, retired army officers, to select the next battalion commanders they all met in one classroom. They handed out sheets for the assigned leadership roles. Brittany was currently a staff sergeant. She hoped she would get promoted to squad leader or even platoon leader. She felt her disappointment growing when her eyes skimmed through the list and saw that she was not listed for either position. Then the sound of her name snapped her attention back to the front of the class where one of the teachers, Sergeant Garcia, was pointing out the names for the new battalion leadership roles._

"_Brittany will be your new Battalion S-4, responsible for breaking in new recruits. Congratulations, Brittany!"_

_She sat there in shocked surprise. Listed on the board along with her name and her new position was her new rank… she was jumping from staff sergeant to second lieutenant! She had never felt more proud._

_It didn't end there. She got promoted AGAIN later her senior year. She got to be both the Battalion S-4 AND the S-2! Two positions that taught her a lot of responsibility. By the end of the school year, she made it to the rank of Captain. She passed the test and it was official on paper. Her peers, the ones that were responsible for distributing the new rank pieces to pin on their uniforms, denied Brittany of hers. Her classmates had been in the JROTC program for four years and never reached her rank or any of her positions during that time. Brittany had done what they couldn't in just three years, surpassing all of them. They were jealous of her but that was okay. She didn't need to pin her rank on her uniform to know that she had earned the title of Captain. _

Aethelgythe was sure that she could never be great like her father. He was the best leader she'd ever known. She wanted to be just like him though. That was another one of her dreams. One that she would probably never see.

She felt shy thinking about it. She felt shy when she imagined what it would be like the day she would be with her father again. Would he still accept her despite the fact she'd been human? Would she even fit in with the Autobots or would they see or treat her as an outsider after what had happened to her?

She didn't feel worthy enough to return to them. She didn't even feel worthy to be Optimus's daughter.

Aethelgythe felt in her spark that her father would be happy to have her back. Would the others be? It was all she wanted and all Brittany dreamed about these days.

Even if she could never return to them, despite the fact it sometimes felt like she might, all she hoped for was that she make her father proud in some way.

She hoped he knew just how much she loved, respected, and admired him.

Her father was her hero.

And he always would be…

To be Continued!

Author's note: wow that ending seemed kind of rushed. I'm not too thrilled with this chapter, I might have to go back and edit it again when I have the time. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Chapter 7**

Brittany always had a high sense of honor. Even before she remembered that Optimus was her father. She was taught never to lie, cheat, or steal.

_Brittany was a college graduate. She had to pick up medication at the downtown pharmacy for bipolar disorder as well as another one from the dermatologist. She had no health insurance and the prescriptions were highly expensive. She handed them her debit card and paid for them, highly aware that this was grocery money she was spending._

_When she got home she found out that they had accidentally given her DOUBLE the amount of medication for the price of one. Her mother knew that she was poor…they had lived in poverty their whole lives. Thankfully, Primus had been sure that they always had everything they needed. Her mother thought it was good fortune that they had given her extra medication and told her she should keep it._

_Brittany shook her head firmly._

"_No mom, I can't do that."_

_She called up the pharmacy, told them what had happened, and returned the rest of the medication. It was stuff she needed to survive but she sure as hell wasn't going to steal! It was wrong. She actually felt better when she made a choice that she knew was the right one. Even though some right choices were sometimes the hardest to make._

Maybe she was more like her father than she originally thought…

Then again, she had done, said, or thought wrongly many times before. No one was perfect. Aethelgythe was sure her father wasn't perfect either and that he too made mistakes. Right now as a human, he just seemed so perfect in her eyes. She couldn't imagine him being any less. That was highly unrealistic. She knew she loved her father, no matter what he might have done in the past. She loved and admired him, no matter what. If she ever learned of the mistakes he had made, Brittany was sure that she would still be proud of him. She would still be proud to be his child. Chances were, once he made a mistake…he made it a priority to avoid repeating it in the future. Aethelgythe was the same way. Optimus was wise and had lived millions of years. He most likely did learn from his mistakes, same as her.

The only times she ever lied was to avoid getting hurt by her stepfather. She lied to the Decepticons in the past too but only when she thought it might possibly save her life. There were times Brittany lied to her friends on some occasions…usually to avoid hurting their feelings about something. Like if they baked her cookies and they tasted horrible, she would lie and say that they were great! She couldn't crush their spirits or rob them of their joy. That didn't happen often…just sometimes.

She was even guilty lying to strangers on the street she didn't know. It was an everyday occurrence during the darkest years of her life. Brittany could be having the worst day ever and people would ask her "How are you?" She would lie and say, "I'm fine" or "doing okay" but inside she wasn't. She was far from okay. The reason why it didn't pay to be truthful when answering such a simple question is because most of them didn't care to hear of your troubles. The simple question "How are you?" usually triggered automatic responses. It wasn't socially acceptable to tell someone you were having a bad day. If you did, it would make the conversation awkward and the person who had originally asked you that one question, will do everything in their power to quickly change the subject. Humans were weird like that.

Brittany, or rather Aethelgythe, remembered that she had been a terrible liar around her father, Optimus. He always seemed to know when she was lying and called her out on it.

"_I honestly didn't have any part in that prank! I'm INNOCENT!"_

_Her father frowned but he was fighting back a smile. He could see right through her._

"_My child, I want to hear the truth."_

"_That IS the truth!" she insisted. It felt wrong as it spewed out of her mouth. She had a nagging feeling growing in her spark that her father was aware of her untruthfulness._

"_I will discover the real truth soon, my daughter. But I would much rather hear it coming from you."_

_She remained silent and her hesitation betrayed her._

"…_okay…."_

"_Okay, what?"_

"…_I did it…"_

_Her father smiled down at her lovingly._

"_The truth will reward you, if you honor it. Now I'm afraid you will have to face the consequences of your actions."_

_She frowned and was clearly displeased. She always seemed to amuse him when he punished her. Her father laughed. _

How she missed her father's laugh…

Then the only time she could remember cheating was when she was thrown into the fire.

_She was in the third grade. Brittany learned how to play her first instrument, a recorder. It was kind of like a flute but looked kind of like a clarinet. It was the perfect instrument for a child her age. _

_She was in the library on the second floor, learning how to read. Her music teacher, Mrs. Redd who was a dark skinned lady, smiled at her and greeted her as she was passing in that direction. It was nearly Christmas time and they were about to perform their first band concert. That was also the year that Brittany performed in her first play. She got to be an elf and had to pretend she was in Santa's workshop making toys. She had just one line to say…one that she forgot the older she grew. It probably wasn't that important._

_Mrs. Redd said something that startled the child. It sounded to her like she said something along the lines of, "If you don't keep practicing, you won't be in the concert." Brittany took it at face value. The child didn't understand what she meant and took everything too seriously. It was a simple misunderstanding…a misunderstanding that made the rest of her school year an absolute HELL._

_She had gone home and told her parents what the music teacher had told her. They were infuriated and called the school, demanding they tell them why Mrs. Redd would say something of that nature._

_Not long after that, when Brittany went to her music class, Mrs. Redd was the angriest and the scariest she'd ever been. She screamed at her when they were alone and Brittany was afraid she would try to hurt her…this woman reminded her of Henry when she was mad. _

"_You told them I said something I didn't say! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ME FIRED!"_

_Brittany was forced to apologize to the woman, shaking with fear and in tears but Mrs. Redd never forgave…and she never forgot._

_The woman terrorized her after that. She dreaded going to her music class. She did not treat her kindly at all. Mrs. Redd gave her class a test and passed out the papers. Brittany had fallen behind yet again because of the daily stress she was forced to endure. No matter how hard she tried, her mind would not focus or absorb any of the music teacher's lessons._

_Her small hand shook as she held the pencil above the paper. There were musical notes on the test and she had to mark what they were. She knew she would fail. In the past when she needed to ask her teacher a question, the woman had been all too kind to instruct her. Not since the misunderstanding occurred. Mrs. Redd hated her. She seemed to favor everyone else in the class but her. Brittany never bothered asking that teacher for help ever again._

_When Mrs. Redd was on the other side of the class helping and answering the questions of another child, Brittany took the chance to panic-whisper to her neighbor sitting to her left._

"_Please…help me. Which notes are these?"_

_The other child must have been raised to never cheat either. The other girl refused to help her but her resolve broke, when she saw Brittany was about to cry. She helped her, saying it would be this time…and this time only. The rest of the year, she would have to do the rest on her own. Brittany agreed._

It was funny…years later Brittany never could remember if she had passed that test or not.

_Thanks to Mrs. Redd's hate, she was alienated from the rest of her peers. That made her feel truly alone. Brittany didn't feel like she belonged anywhere._

_Her music teacher took some sort of sick pleasure when she enacted her revenge on the student that nearly got her fired a few weeks later. She made sure that Brittany would not have the honor of performing in front of her grade. She would be performing for the younger kids. After the concert, three of her music peers laughed and joked on their way back to their homeroom class. Brittany slowed down and let them pass her. The moment those three, the ones that were famous now for doing such a good job in front of the rest of the third grade, were welcomed with cheers and applause. Her classmates completely ignored her like she wasn't there._

_She was invisible. No one praised her because none of them got to watch or listen to her performance because she hadn't been there with the rest of them. It hurt._

_Mrs. Redd's revenge was now complete._

Brittany never cheated after that. She knew it was wrong.

As far as stealing, Brittany had never stolen a thing in her life. Well…she 'borrowed' stuff from people without their permission but always returned it! She was sure if Optimus had seen her do that, he would have lectured her about it…

How she missed her father. She couldn't believe she was saying this, but she missed his lectures.

Growing up, Brittany loved war games. She was an avid paintball, airsoft, and laser-tag player. When it came to guns…she was a pro. She was pretty awesome. Brittany never gave herself compliments because she judged herself too hard. That was the one thing she wasn't afraid or ashamed to brag about.

In JROTC her teachers told her they planned on making her the rifle team captain but that program got shut down when some stupid kid in another state shot himself in the foot with a pellet. Oh well…she had other means of enjoying her weapons specialty.

_She was maybe fourteen years old, visiting her cousins in Wisconsin. They were outside the house playing airsoft. There were many bushes and trees on both sides of the house and plenty of other places to hide too, like the deck and the woods behind the backyard._

_She crouched low. She'd gotten quite good and crafty with flanking maneuvers and knew how to ambush and cut off her opponent's retreats. Her cousin, Jay, was innocently walking right into her trap…_

_He tip-toed his way past her position and she shot him in the back. He screamed, completely taken off guard. She laughed and chased him._

_They had a lot of fun._

_Another time, she lay prone on the ground, since it was much harder to be spotted that way. She was laying beneath her Aunt's jeep in the driveway. Her two cousins, Jay and Charles, never thought to look for her there._

_As soon as their legs were in view, she pelted them with airsoft pellets earning loud, girlish screams. She laughed like a maniac. They spazzed out, trying to figure out where the weapons fire was even coming from. They eventually figured it out. She rolled out from beneath the jeep and ran as fast as she could when her cousins both chased her, vowing revenge with laughter in their voices._

As years passed, she gained more experience…she was practically a professional.

_Her senior year in high school, Henry was retired from the army but was a weapons instructor on the base. They had simulators that she and her family had the honor of using._

_Henry taught her well, on how to handle a gun. She learned to squeeze the trigger, not pull it. She had to even her breathing and narrowed her eyes down the scope of the M-16. She took aim and fired!_

_Not one animated target on the screen was left alive, when she was through. She nailed them all. For some reason, she was really good at long ranged shooting. The simulator calculated the distance she was firing. She was head-shooting targets from 400 yards away._

_Henry praised her and told her that she had done better than most enlisted troops._

Later in her civilian life, she longed to own an AR-15, which is the civilian equivalent of an M-16. It was her weapon of choice and one that she was best at.

She would have joined the military if bipolar disorder hadn't ruined it for her.

Now that she remembered being the daughter of Optimus Prime, it finally made sense why she always loved war games.

_Another time in her junior year in high school, she was on a field trip with her church youth group. They went to the best paintball course ever conceived. She always buddied up with her best friend, Stephanie. They worked very well together and were the best team. They covered for each other. When Brittany needed to advance, Stephanie provided her with covering fire so she could make it to the next obstacle. It seemed they hardly ever lost._

_There was an actual wooden castle-like structure with a draw bridge that one team started at. The second team had to advance and try to take over the building and capture it. Brittany's black paintball helmet protected her well that day. Her breathing would sometimes fog up the paintball mask and it was sometimes a little hard to see through it then. She got shot up good trying to invade that thing… got shot point blank range three times in her right thigh when she tried to squeeze through a narrow opening beneath the fort… OUCH. Her opponents had anticipated her strategy._

_Then it came time for the teams to switch playing fields. She stood up high behind the top wall of the castle and shot some enemies that were approaching their base from the south, coming from the woods._

_She was the best at defending and not one enemy made it into their base._

Aethelgythe had always dreamed about being one of the best warriors in history. She wanted to be as great a warrior as her father, Optimus Prime. She might not be one now in body…but she knew, that within her spark, she was one.

Were her dreams childish? Would she ever see any of her dreams come true?

She wished she could fight and defend the weak. She loved protecting others and even as a human, she did the best that she could when opportunities presented themselves. Brittany wanted nothing more than to fight to uphold truth, justice, and freedom.

She made up her own battle cry. Whenever she used Nerf swords against her two brothers, she would cry, "FOR FREEDOM!" right before hitting them with it. Wow…did her father say stuff like that in a real battle?

She might not ever know.

Brittany realized she may never see her dreams of becoming a warrior a reality…

…but sometime down the road, if it truly was her destiny, Aethelgythe just might.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Author's Note: Wow…I really didn't know how to end this chapter. I need to work on endings lol. Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Thanks to my reviewers! : ) And as a warning to my readers, this chapter contains adult suggested themes and references. Read at your own discretion.

Chapter 8

_Brittany closed the door of her blue Toyota Yaris and rubbed her hands together to try to warm them. It was late fall and winter was just around the corner. Frost covered the ground and crunched beneath her work shoes. Her breath became visible in little puffs of white vapor with each exhale. She looked up at the night sky and gazed heavenward. Was her father watching her from the heavens? Was he admiring the night sky and the beauty of the twinkling stars same as her? She soon became lost in her thoughts…_

* * *

><p>Brittany her whole life had been what most would consider a tomboy. When she was a child, she loved to climb trees, sword fight with sticks, throw rocks, and make mud pies. Brittany hated dresses. She never felt comfortable in them. She felt too exposed. Dressing in jeans and t-shirts put her in a protective bubble, it was her comfort zone. High heels hurt her feet and her legs…whoever invented those, probably a man, was just plain stupid. How could anyone run fast in high heels, a dress, or a skirt? It was extremely hard…so hard, it border-lined the near impossible. She knew that when shit hit the fan, all the girly-girls were going to be the first to go. She would survive what they couldn't. Brittany was <strong>not<strong> going to be the helpless damsel in distress. She was going to do everything in her power to fight back or in the very least be able to run fast if need be.

Brittany was never obsessed with her appearance like the rest of humanity. Her complexion was wonderful and Brittany never needed to wear makeup until she started to get acne later in life. She knew it was good to look nice and she always did, keeping good hygiene…she just didn't dress like most girls. They liked to flaunt their bodies and most women weren't shy to show off to men. Men were attracted to women just by sight alone, that's probably how most humans found their mates. Brittany always dressed conservatively and hated showing off her body. She wanted to be a woman of virtue. She wanted a husband who would respect her and fall in love _with her_, not her body. Finding someone, was the least of her priorities right now.

When she met her biological father for the first time when she was 19 years old, he told her dressing like a tomboy made people think she was a lesbian. Brittany was upset by this and knew the man said that based upon a worldly, shallow perspective. He believed appearances came before your inner beauty. When it came to outward beauty, he had told her something that broke her heart and made her cease contact with him. Especially since from that point forward he only had negative and hurtful things to say to her.

"_You're pretty…when you __**want**__ to be."_

He could probably say that because he never grew up with Brittany and didn't know her like her friends and her family did. Brittany had an inner beauty that shone above her physical. Many people had told her so over the years and she felt in her heart that they were right.

There was an underlying reason though, why she was a tomboy.

One reason was that boys and men paid her less attention to her when she dressed like that. She never remembered what Megatron had done to her until she was an adult, but unbeknownst to her, she carried the memory deep within her soul her whole life. When she had been a girly-girl when she was younger, she noticed the way guys would look at her. They would look at her not with just an admiring eye but with lust. It disgusted her. For some reason the older she got, she always attracted the perverted creepers, regardless of how she dressed. ARGH! She hated that!

_There was one older man in his forties who was a college student, named Robert Byrd. He would work part-time sometimes at the woodcraft shop too. Thankfully he never really worked during her assigned hours. He was the definition of a pervert. He would hit on all the young college girls and flirt with them. It was sick._

_One afternoon, Brittany was waiting at the time clock to punch out, dressed in black cargo pants and a red hoodie since it was a little chilly outside. One of the 'girly-girls' dressed in a way that showed off her figure, with long blonde hair pulled back in a pony-tail, was next to clock out. Robert Byrd stood behind that girl, playing with her pony tail and telling her she was pretty but not in a normal way. Brittany narrowed her eyes and glared daggers into the man. Was this guy a potential rapist? He was practically the age of that blonde haired girl's father! Brittany always kept her distance, standing opposite them against the wall. The girl laughed and told him to stop, batting his hand away. Robert ignored her and continued to play with her hair. That girl was disturbed but she remained composed and pretended it didn't bother her._

_The man continued, ignoring the girl even after she told him to leave her alone a second and then a third time. Something in Brittany snapped._

"_HEY! She said leave her alone! Are you freaking DEAF?! Back the fuck off, man!"_

_He smirked at her and raised both hands up in a mock 'don't hurt me' gesture and took a step away from the blonde girl. _

_Robert didn't bother laying his hands on Brittany. He tried once weeks before and she shoved him and reared a fist back in silent warning that day._

"_Touch me…and I will __**kill**__ you. I mean it."_

_He thought she was joking of course and took a step towards her. She grabbed the nearest tool on the workbench next to her, which happened to be a large rubber mallet. It was big and heavy enough to kill him if she swung it hard enough into his skull. She nonchalantly flipped it up, end over end and caught it expertly in her hand._

"_You'd be wise, to keep your distance. I won't warn you a second time. I __**will**__ hurt you if you don't keep your hands to yourself."_

_That wiped the amused smile off his face and he backed away from her._

"_Now it's time for you to leave," she gave him a pointed look that brooked no argument and gestured for him to start walking with the mallet, still in hand._

_Robert gave her a creepy sneer and left. Her threat made him think twice but that didn't stop him from making perverted comments or from flirting with her. The man probably knew that it bothered her and liked to see her mad. She felt paranoid and unsafe whenever he was around. He liked to target the girly girls but there was something about Brittany that he found attractive, if not in appearance, then in temperament. It was creepy and gross. There was another day that he tried to give her a compliment but she didn't consider anything 'nice' he had to say as a compliment. She didn't want to look him in the eyes but forced eye contact since she didn't want to appear weak or nervous in front of him. Brittany's fight or flight mode slowly arose within her when she could see his lust and the hidden motives in his eyes. This man was not to be trusted. It was wise for her to keep her distance from him._

"_There is something about you that I can't quite figure out…"_

_Brittany wanted to laugh. She loved being a mystery and liked to see the confusion on his face._

"_I love the way you smirk…" he grinned at her and then continued to pass by her work station. She ignored him then and gave him the cold shoulder, continuing to pound dowels into the wood of what was soon going to be a cooling rack. He left but for some reason he wouldn't leave her alone. Whenever she saw him on the other side of the street, she pulled her hood up and hid her face, turning the other way so he wouldn't see her. _

_That was something she became good at. When she felt like she was in any sort of danger, she immediately changed her appearance, transforming herself into 'someone else'. She had the power to remain unseen if she wished it. It was a gift she employed quite often. Not just because of Robert Byrd but because of other people that wished to cause her trouble, or the people she just didn't like or didn't feel like talking to. Not long after, she filed a restraining order on him by the school's campus security. She'd had enough of the perverted man. Especially since her elder, male woodcraft supervisors found it hilarious and amusing that Robert hit on her. They would joke with her and say, "Hey Brittany…do you like bird watching?" referring to Robert Byrd of course. It infuriated her… she came to hate men._

Brittany hated the fact that humanity viewed women as inferior, second class citizens…never equal to men. Women were just good enough for the mating process and for bearing children. That was it. They were just tools to be used and discarded. She hated it. There were many times she questioned her self-worth. Society expected her to find a husband and bear children. Or in the very least, be a slut like all the other girls and sleep around with every guy she met on the street. Brittany wasn't like that. She never was and never would be.

Brittany had a high moral code that she lived by. She was raised and firmly believed in mating after marriage. And that she would be bound the rest of her life to one man.

She thought that she found her perfect match after college. A guy named Joe became her fiancé although it never did feel right. She loved him but not in a romantic way. Her human body wanted him but her heart didn't. They broke up. It was in 2010 that she realized who she loved most completely. Brittany knew within her heart, within her spark, that she loved Bumblebee. There were times she didn't think or just didn't know if he had the same feelings for her. The young woman would cry many lonely nights when she remembered she could never be with him or the other Autobots until her time on Earth was done…until she was no longer human.

_It was yet another dark night and Brittany was crying, questioning Primus about her worth. She didn't feel like she could ever be as great as her father or be a leader like him just because she was female. There were a lot of times in her life when she thought it would have been so much better, so much easier, if she had been male. Maybe Megatron never would have spark-raped her if she had been a boy. She hated being a girl and felt that life would have been easier if she hadn't been one. At least that was the way she felt now as a **human** girl. Human girls and women suffered so much misery and pain. There was one day she felt very strongly about that and got the whisper of a feeling that her father loved her as a girl. He loved her just the way she was and was so happy he had her as his daughter._

It wasn't until the end of 2014 that she realized the truth. Cybertronians were not like humanity when it came to male and female. They were considered equal despite the fact that females were still a bit smaller and weaker. She could vaguely remember her parents, when her mother was alive, or at the very least the feelings associated with them. They had been a team, working together, making decisions together in unison, as one. Brittany did not feel destined to live by human standards or ideals.

Was it possible that she could be like her father? Were there ever female leaders in Cybertronian history… or was that impossible or untrue? It was something that plagued her mind constantly…

_She listened to the pastor's sermon one Sunday that was very humanistic. _

_"It does not honor God when women go into battle."_

_ That seemed pretty sexist. _

_The pastor said that men were the ones who were supposed to do all the fighting and that women's roles were to stay at home, raise the children to love the Lord, and pray for the men that went out to fight. _

_Brittany did not feel destined to live by human standards or ideals._

Weren't there Cybertronian **female** warriors? She was pretty sure there were. The Autobots were just beginning her training to be a warrior before the Decepticons kidnapped her many years ago. She felt it was important to know how to fight. All she wanted, all she dreamed of her whole life, was to be a warrior for Primus like her father Optimus Prime. How was it dishonoring Primus if she fought for truth, justice, and freedom? How was it a dishonor to fight to stop the agents of Unicron from destroying the universe and everything good Primus created? Brittany felt like she was destined for more than just an ordinary human life…

Brittany had always had a loving heart. Since she was a child, she'd always been cuddly and loved giving her family hugs and kisses. She loved giving her church folk and her friends hugs too. Hugs seemed to make everything feel better and kept the darkness at bay. Later in her life, she realized that the reason why she liked to hug so much was because she didn't have spark-bonds with her human family. Physical contact was the one and only way she could share her love with them. That was the only way her family and her friends could know that she loved them.

Cybertronians were able to share their love and their feelings for each other through their bonds with family and with their spark-mates. She remembered how much her father loved her and couldn't wait to feel him through their bond again. Brittany hoped her father knew how much she loved him.

Even now, as an adult Brittany didn't feel her age. Cybertronians aged much, much slower than humans did. All her life, she felt like humanity left her behind the older she got. Sure, she was very mature and had more common sense than most of them and in a sense she was older than them and could juggle adult human responsibilities. Brittany still felt like a kid despite the fact she was 27 years old, Earth time. She loved kid movies, probably because they had good moral and family values in their stories and she still liked to cuddle. Now as an 'adult' she couldn't really cuddle anymore. She could with her youngest brother for a time while he was so small. Now he was going to be 14 and had grown out of that, as most boys do.

It was hard living without feeling the love someone had for her within her soul, her spark. It left her feeling cold and alone. Of course she had felt Jesus's love within her heart when she became a Christian as a child and still felt that Primus loved her. She missed feeling that love He had for her now that her spark suffered so much pain and darkness. At least Aethelgythe remembered what her Creator had told her while she had been with Him. She at least knew that Primus loved her a billion times more than her father did. It made her less lonely when she remembered that.

The first thing Aethelgythe was going to do though when she was finally reunited with her father, was to hug and cuddle with him. That is, if she was still small and young enough for that. She honestly didn't know how big or how old she would be if Primus resurrected her and made her Cybertronian again. She was going to hug her father FIRST regardless though! Then the other Autobots could fight over who got to hug her next. That thought made her smile…

* * *

><p><em>Brittany shivered from the cold feeling disappointed that she had to go inside the house, regretful that she had to finally end her stargazing. She was thankful for what she had. She knew she was blessed. Aethelgythe knew as long as she remembered and held on to all of the good and not the bad, she would make it to the very end of her human journey and quite possibly, make it back home...<em>

TO BE CONTINUED!


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! : ) Transformers 4 Soundtrack by Steve Jablonsky is awesome if any of you haven't heard it yet! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Barnes and Noble. Wish I did but I don't lol.

Chapter 9

Brittany growled in frustration as she hit yet another red light. She always had the knack for hitting those. It frustrated her many days, especially if she was in a real hurry to get somewhere.

Right now, she was stuck in work traffic…something that she hated. She often liked to speed and break the limit and knew that eventually she would get caught by the authorities and would have to suffer the consequences by paying an insanely expensive speeding ticket. She smiled knowing that her father Optimus would thoroughly enjoy lecturing her about that.

Brittany was a damn good driver. She prided herself on her awesome skills. She was pretty sure she could outrun a Decepticon with her car. She might take chances at times but she was still responsible enough! She could already imagine Optimus shaking his head and scolding her for it. She would of course, try to argue with him, but she knew that would be pretty pointless. He would win…because he was always right.

Right now, as she deftly maneuvered around the slower cars, she remained paranoid and checked her rearview and side mirrors keeping a sharp eye out for the police. Now a days, they had gotten rather crafty. They not only set speed traps but there were two unmarked police vehicles she had seen that pulled over some rather unsuspecting drivers. One of the unmarked police cars happened to be a navy blue dodge charger. Another was a tan sedan. Scary. They looked just like ordinary cars…hence her ever vigilant paranoia now. When Brittany sped, she stayed within a pack of other drivers, right in the middle. Plus going with the flow of traffic was always better in the long run. Chances were, if the cops were going to catch someone, it would be the guys behind her.

Brittany passed by her favorite store on the way home. She loved Barnes and Noble. She never lost her love of reading. Jeez, she really was a nerd. A nerd that loved knowledge and soaked it up like a sponge. Since she was a child, she always loved to learn. She was considered a 'teacher's pet' and was always a fast learner.

A coughing fit snapped her back to reality. She had been coughing for a couple weeks now. Brittany had the suspicion that she was going to die soon. It wasn't a hypochondriac type of thing. It was the fact that after 5 years she finally put the pieces together. She knew she had formed some kind of spark link with Ratchet the last time she'd been alive. He was considered family to her. She loved him! It was in the very first spark-bond dream she'd ever had as a human that she had seen her father and Ratchet for the first time…

_She wasn't sure where she was. She was in a parking lot and parked on the side of the road up ahead to her left was a red semi-truck without a trailer. An older, human looking man was standing there talking to the truck. As strange as that seemed, it wasn't strange. She immediately wondered if that was Optimus Prime in his vehicle mode. She inwardly laughed. That old guy talking to him sounded a lot like Ratchet. The old man left and the red truck sat there silently. The engine wasn't running or anything. Was he asleep? She crept ever closer until she was standing by the driver's side door. Brittany couldn't stop herself. She was too compelled to reach out and touch it…no…HIM. She knew the truck was really alive and her childish fantasy was that it was Optimus. She wanted him to be real and she really wished she could talk to him. Brittany felt so small standing next to him…_

_She reached her hand out and lightly touched his driver's side door. The moment her hand made contact, something extraordinary happened. She experienced some kind of extreme energy overload that filled her whole body. She staggered back and began to walk away from the truck down the road. The energy was so intense, she felt her legs buckle beneath her and fell in a near unconscious heap on the ground. _

_To say what she was experiencing was strange, was the understatement of the century. Confusing images flashed through her mind in jumbled up pieces, all out of order. Were those memories? Before she knew it, the old man was back. He was standing above her, lightly tapping the side of her face with one hand._

"_Come on kid! Wake up! Are you okay?"_

_She groaned and squinted at the light and slowly began to sit up. The old man helped her, pulling her up to her feet. She felt slightly dizzy and now all that energy she had been feeling was focused in her chest but not as overpowering as it had been when it coursed through her entire body._

"_Okay, so the spark-bond you have with your father has returned."_

_He began leading her somewhere. She felt disoriented and for a moment couldn't make sense of what the man was saying to her. He got a little frustrated and annoyed._

"_Are you paying attention?!"_

_She nodded._

"…_sure…"_

_Brittany shook her head, hoping to clear her mind as she tried to make sense of what just happened._

"_You need to be sure to drink lots of water and avoid any strenuous activities."_

_Her face furrowed into one of confusion. What was this old guy talking about? What did water have to do with anything? What strenuous activities? One question after another assaulted her already confused mind._

"_Are you listening?!"_

_Sudden recognition struck her and she smiled with joy._

"_**Ratchet?"**_

"_Yes, it's me."_

_She was in shock. This was just a dream, wasn't it? How could this be the REAL Ratchet?! _

"_Wow…you sound just like him!"_

"_That's because __**I am**__!"_

_He said something else to her but her subconscious mind pulled her deeper into the realm of dreaming and she forgot what else he might have said to her upon awakening._

It was only recently that she figured it out. That really had been Ratchet in the dream. His warning to drink a lot of water and to avoid straining her spark never made sense…until now.

Brittany had the suspicion that she was dying. Ever since she used her spark bond in 2009, she'd been sick ever since. She threw up a lot. Whenever her spark was 'active' it made her incredibly thirsty. Megatron didn't help matters any when their bond came back and then when he severed it. She'd had spark pain for 3 years now. Every night her spark would hurt and she felt like she was getting dehydrated and had to drink like two to three 16.9 oz bottles of water before bed. That didn't account for the water she had to drink during the day…

Sometimes when she drank water, it felt like it was going into her spark but that was impossible wasn't it? Maybe it was just her wild imagination playing tricks on her. Drinking water did help though. Ratchet was right about that. Then if she didn't get enough sleep aka 'recharge' it hurt her spark then too.

Brittany finally figured out that water and sleep were the only things keeping her spark alive right now. Energon and recharge kept a Cybertronian spark aflame. She felt like she was crossing over…becoming Cybertronian again. She felt less human with each passing day. As time went on, her thirst increased and no amount of sleeping seemed to be enough. Before, she would drink water and go to bed and awaken the next morning feeling normal. That was not the case anymore. Now the thirst continued well into the day. So did the spark pain. She was always tired and fatigued. She could sleep 7-9 hours a night and wake up feeling as though she still didn't get enough sleep. Her body was rested…her spark wasn't. Normal humans only had to worry about resting their bodies…none of them had to worry about resting their souls too.

In fact, it was just the other day that she had an issue…

_She was unable to go to sleep because she had excessive energy…almost kind of what it felt like when she first touched her father in the dream. The human doctors told her this was just a symptom of Bipolar disorder. Excessive energy was one symptom. This was different though. This was worse._

_She kept tossing and turning and got maybe 2 hours of sleep? She didn't bother watching the clock. Brittany knew she didn't sleep much that night. She dragged herself out of bed and threw up. She got sick when she didn't get enough sleep. On top of that the pain made her sick. Brittany forced herself to go to work. She was a receptionist for a reputable company, in the social services department._

_While she was in the office, making copies of a client's documents for the case manager at the copy machine, the fatigue and spark pain were so intense she felt like she was going to die. She panicked and tried using her spark to call Ratchet for help. She begged him to help her. She was so scared._

_Then the thought to drink a lot of water and to rest crossed her mind. She drank the water._

_She thought she felt irritation from someone within her spark, reminding her to REST._

_Brittany knew she should have just gone home and slept but she pressed on recklessly, putting work before her health._

_**The only way I'm going home, is if I actually faint and they send me to the hospital. I have work that needs to be done.**_

_That was when she heard a reply that she knew she hadn't imagined. _

_**You're stubborn just like your father!**_

_She could feel that he would make her rest if he'd been standing next to her in person. Brittany then had the feeling…like a memory was being shared, of a very frustrated Ratchet demanding that Optimus take a break and rest since he'd been working too much and for too long._

"_**Optimus you need to rest!"**_

"_**I can't rest Ratchet. I have too much work that needs to be done!"**_

"_**I don't care! **_**Rest**_** or I will **_**make**_** you rest!"**_

_The snippet of memory ended there. It amused Brittany greatly. She felt in her spark that something like that really HAD happened between Ratchet and her father. He was stubborn. And so was she apparently…_

Brittany grinned at the thought. She was not too prideful to admit that she was indeed stubborn and at times, hard-headed. Was that really a bad thing?

She supposed when it came to Ratchet…it really was. Brittany pulled into the driveway of her home and put the car in park. She climbed out wearily and went inside the house. She immediately got on her laptop and began writing another chapter of a story she'd been writing for the past month. Aethelgythe knew her time was almost up. She felt very compelled to write a message…to her future self.

_Dear Aethelgythe,_

_If you are reading this, chances are you did make it back home and you have been reunited with your father and the Autobots. I am still you, your past human you, and I feel it's important that I write this story so that you could know of your time spent on Earth._

_There is probably a lot that you don't remember. That's okay. I didn't really remember most of my life as a Cybertronian when I was human. All I had were fragments of memory. My spark remembered the most important, most critical moments of my Cybertronian life, before Earth. I'm sure you may have fragments of memory of your time as a human. _

_I want you to understand where you've been. So that you can better know, where you are going. Consider this message to be somewhat of a time capsule. I am your past you. I'm sure you have many questions that you are asking right now. _

_Human sensations are foreign to you now. You don't remember. I can tell you as a human, you experienced another world in a way no Cybertronian could ever begin to dream of. _

_As a human, I had the worst sense of smell. I could hardly ever smell anything which turned out to be a good thing because whenever I DID have my sense of smell…I always smelled gross, disgusting things. With the exception of when my family baked muffins or cookies. Or the Chanel perfume I wore was pretty strong. I could always smell that without a problem. It really did smell good. Flowers are something else that smell really good…they make me sneeze sometimes though. _

_One of the greatest things I remember, is my time at the ocean. Humans always take their shoes off and feel the sand run between their toes and beneath their feet. It is a wonderful sensation. It's very hard to describe. Sand feels course and rough to the human skin. Wet sand is different. It feels cool and soothing as it squishes beneath your feet. Water feels wonderful. I'm sure humans and Cybertronians feel water in a different way. For humans, water is relaxing. It is cleansing. _

_The smell of the ocean, the sound of the crashing waves against the beach, and the sea gulls' cries overwhelm the human senses. The ocean to a human nose, smells like salt and seaweed. That is a little harder to describe. The sound and the rhythm of the waves crashing on the beach however is a sound that comforts most humans. It is very soothing and relaxing. It puts your mind at ease. A human can go to the beach for a day and while they are there, the things, the sensations, and sounds they experience can make them temporarily forget all about their everyday troubles._

_When you walk barefoot on grass… that too, is a great sensation. It feels good, it kind of tickles your feet when you run on it. It's a different sense of freedom since humans wear shoes all the time to protect their feet. I ran barefoot on the grass a lot when I was younger. Now as an adult, I don't like to anymore simply because there are bugs and knowing me, I'll probably step on something like a stick and hurt myself. It does not take much to get hurt as a human. You suffered a lot of pain while you were here. Be thankful you don't remember much of that. Thankfully it's behind you now and it's only the shadow of a memory. I'm sure if the Autobots ever saved any of the things I have written on the fan fiction website, you can read those too. _

_It's important that we know our past, so that we can better know our future._

_You helped a lot of people while you were on Earth. You helped many humans with simple acts of kindness. You were a good listener and people would often turn to you for counsel. You helped many humans find Primus again. You helped lead lost souls out of the darkness and showed them the light. You helped those that had no hope and those that wanted to give up and end their lives because of their pain and the fact that a human life is so hard. (Being human is much, much harder than being Cybertronian. Trust me.) _

_You saved lives while you were here. _

_If you had never been born, your human mother would have killed herself because she wanted to have you to love and to be loved in return. You saved your human brother Ricky from floating down a river once. The current was really taking him away and you prayed. You prayed that God would help you reach him in time. His little plastic raft got caught on a large rock, giving you just enough time to reach him. You saved your human sister from drowning when she fell into a pond in the neighbor's backyard. You saved your other brother Matthew from getting hit by a car. You were a very good big sister. I'm sure you still can be one, even now. You have past experience after all! It's really not that hard. Being the eldest child is far easier, in my opinion. Yeah…it's more responsibility because you are entrusted with their welfare and safety but that only brings you closer to them. Hey, it gives you a good excuse to be bossy! LOL_

_I just want you to know that your time as a human was not a waste and that your pain and your suffering were temporary, but not in vain. Primus taught you a lot while you were on Earth. He taught you that humans or any other race he created are not inferior to Cybertronians. He treats all of his creations equally. He loves them all the same._

_I want you to promise me something. Promise me, you will never take your father or the Autobots for granted, ever again. Cherish your time with them because today could be your last day with any one of them._

_Always trust in Primus. I'm sure you do. You always have. He has a great destiny in store for you. People have told me that my whole life. It's very true…I'm not sure what you can remember right now but that is something I was able to remember as a human. He told me before sending me to Earth that his plans for me are great. As a human, all I could ever daydream and fantasize about was returning to the Autobots and my father. All I've wanted is to be a great warrior like him. I never had the chance as a human. Hopefully now you will. _

_I have never given myself compliments much in my life. I judge myself the hardest. I want you to know that you are beautiful and brave and strong. I always thought of myself as weak and afraid. That wasn't true. You ARE so many good things. Your father was right all those years ago when he told you, you have a good spark…He was right. Never lose it. _

_God said in the bible to love your neighbor as yourself. I've never really looked in the mirror and told my reflection I love her. Writing this letter to you, right now…I want you to know that I do love you. I love you, Aethelgythe. I am you and you are me. We are one soul that lived in two different bodies._

_Live today, like there's no tomorrow._

_Remember the past but don't dwell so much on it._

_Don't worry about what tomorrow will bring, for it hasn't come yet._

_Always live in the present. Remember to laugh and to love. Dark days may be ahead but you have friends and family that are with you, to the very end. They will be with you through the good times….and the bad. I love you. Always remember that._

_Love Me_

Brittany closed her laptop with a smile after posting it. She wondered if her future self would one day read what she wrote. It was an interesting thought…

She wasn't sure how her human life was going to end…but she wasn't afraid.

She knew she was never alone.

It was the prospect of returning home…that gave her courage. The courage to meet… whatever end.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and thanks again to my lone reviewer. : ) One is better than none. Also I know this chapter is incredibly short but I needed it to be. Thanks and please review!

Oh, and about a couple weeks ago some guy told me an Optimus joke. He said "As Optimus fell 15 stories he said 'doing pretty good so far'" I felt retarded. It was only after he left that I understood the joke. That wasn't much of a fall for Optimus… XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Robin, Walmart, or Minecraft.

Chapter 10

Brittany blew her nose in complete disgust and had to fight back a sneeze. She did everything in her power to suppress the cough that was tickling the inside of her lungs. Her throat was already tortured from all of the coughing and it hurt to swallow anything. She was sick. Probably with a cold although right now it felt like it was attacking her sinuses. She slowly dissolved a menthol cough drop to try to relieve her itchy throat and a few minutes later took some more cold medicine. Brittany needed some kind of cough suppressant since that's all she ever seemed to do. She…was…miserable. Being sick as a human was no joke and it definitely wasn't fun. She managed to get sick 3, maybe 4 times in a year. Two times, usually in the beginning and the end of the year, was when she caught something major like the flu. Thankfully it wasn't the flu this time, just a cold.

She grimaced as she swallowed more water to keep hydrated. She could only imagine what Ratchet would tell her.

_**Drink water and REST!**_

Brittany was stubborn though…she really couldn't help it. In her mind, resting and sleeping were two different things. When Ratchet said REST, he probably meant that she should sleep. She RESTED by watching movies and playing video games. It was nothing strenuous and it was resting…at least to her. She could only imagine the tizzy fit Ratchet would be in if he knew she wasn't resting/sleeping.

_**I said REST dammit! You stubborn fool!**_

How many times had her father heard those words? She laughed at the thought and broke down into another coughing fit.

She smiled. She loved Ratchet so much. When she was incredibly sick and miserable, she wished that he could hold her and comfort her. Brittany also liked to imagine that he was invisible, standing in the room right next to her…probably armed with an invisible syringe with some kind of narcotic that would force her to rest! Oh Ratchet…whenever he was mad and screamed at people and threw things…it only meant that he truly cared. He had a good spark. He was so kind and compassionate. He only had a temper and threw a fit when sick or injured people didn't listen to him and tried to aggravate their compromised health. Ratchet was a softy…he just liked to hide it.

Brittany opened up her laptop and began to write a new chapter of her story. She felt it would be wise to write another letter to her future Cybertronian self. It was only fitting that she 'talk to herself' since her human self would one day be lost to the sands of time. She honestly didn't know how much time she had left on this Earth. Just that she was so sure that Primus had told her that she wouldn't be there longer than 33 years. She was going to be 28 years old in the spring. Would she even see her next birthday? If what he said was true, then her time was indeed, very limited.

_Dear Aethelgythe,_

__I'm almost positive that I will be Cybertronian again in the not so distant future. That's why I'm taking the time and this one chance to write you these messages.__

_I need to tell you something very important. I first need to ask you a question. Do you frown and feel disdain at the fact that you were human once? You might have said, "I can't believe that was me!" You shouldn't. I'm so sad, disappointed, and ashamed if you do. Your old body…my human body…was only temporary. Being human should have taught you humility. I truly hope and pray that you haven't lost that. If you have then please…please try to remember for your sake. _

_What I'm most afraid of about dying a second time is that the knowledge, experience, and memories that I currently have in my human mind, will be lost. I will leave a great part of myself behind. My mind will be gone but my spark will remain the same. I'm scared and ask myself the question, "will I still be me after I die?" I'm not afraid to die since I remember dying the first time. That really was a horrible way to go and I'm sorry if you've remembered that death in greater detail now. At least you have your father and the Autobots to help you heal from that. Healing is hard and it's painful. Luckily for you, Primus began your healing process while you were human. Hopefully that softened the blow once you returned home._

_It's true that I had a human name while I was on Earth but while I've been here, I've recovered my lost identity and very important memories that my spark retained. To the world I was known by my human name. To myself and the Autobots, I was still Aethelgythe. I hope you love me. Please still love me and don't resent me for being human. It's true that humans are weak, small, and sometimes gross but humans have a strength that Cybertronians may never know. I've suffered much pain and misery on Earth. Ask Ratchet. Chances are he found a way to access my human medical files if they were stored in a computers mainframe somewhere. _

_Aethelgythe you were weak only in body. You were still strong. You resisted Megatron and evil's temptations a second time and you prevailed. Darkness nearly drowned you and there was an evil being, whom I've considered to be Unicron, that tried everything in his power to make you fall, to make you his. He not only told you lies, but he began to twist and bend your human mind so that you could SEE the lies as truth. In turn that began to poison your spark. It made you sick…so sick inside. You knew though. You knew that they were lies. _

_His plan was to make you hate Elita. Once you hated her, you would have hated your father next, and then the rest of the Autobots. I've had many dreams that Unicron bites me and poisons me. He turns me into his slave and I obeyed his every command in those dreams and attacked the ones I love and hold most dear. Don't ever let that happen. See through the LIES! I know that deep within my spark I love Elita and I hope and pray that she loves me too. I know I would love to have her for a mother. I felt her once and when I did, it felt like I've known her for years. I wonder if I knew or met her while I was Cybertronian? Maybe one day I'll know…maybe you know now. _

_Despite the fact he attacked your human health and made you suffer in so many terrible ways that made you want to end your own life, time and time again, you stood up to him and refused to give him your spark. See? I'm still you. You just might not remember everything._

_I love you Aethelgythe. Love yourself…even your past human self. We are one and the same, just different in body. You are so strong. Never give up and never give in. I know you won't. –smile- You truly are, your father's daughter. I love you._

_Love, Me_

Brittany finished writing and closed her laptop with a sigh. Everything she wrote concerning her Cybertronian self was all true. The world believed what she wrote was fiction. If only they knew…

Now it was time to face the day! Today was her mother's birthday and she and her mom both took the full day off from work to be together and celebrate this special time.

They got to sleep in that morning which was nice. Then they had breakfast. Brittany had French toast sticks with syrup and coffee. Her mother had apple jacks with almond milk. The two lounged around the house for a while. Brittany played video games, mainly Minecraft, while her mother played a computer game. Then later that evening they went to Red Robin for dinner. Brittany ordered a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings, fries, and a coke to drink. It was so delicious! She told God her one final, human request when it came time for her to leave planet Earth. She hoped that her last meal on Earth would be a good one.

Mother and daughter went to Walmart after that and bought a few things. It was while they were in the store that something dire happened to Brittany. The issue that she'd been having with her spark flared up. Her spark within her body began to hurt and made her incredibly thirsty. She couldn't tell her mother what was really wrong because she wouldn't believe her if she told her.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah mom, I'm fine."

"No you're not."

Brittany half smiled.

"Sure I am"

"I know you are lying…I know you."

"I'll be fine. All I need is water and rest."

As they stood in the checkout line her mother handed her the water bottle and told her to drink some.

"Mom I can't drink this, I haven't paid for it yet!"

"If you are having a serious problem you need to drink it."

Brittany refused. She felt like it was stealing if she ate or drank something before paying for it. It was some kind of moral code she had and she lived by it.

Deep inside, Brittany knew that she wasn't fine. Her body began to turn cold, it became increasingly hard to breathe, and the thirst couldn't be quenched no matter how many bottles of water she drank. By the time they got home, Brittany guzzled down water bottle number 4. And she was still thirsty. Her spark was acting completely crazy. It was seriously getting hard for her to describe what was happening to her. Human doctors couldn't help her, they wouldn't even begin to comprehend what was afflicting her. She knew…she knew her time was very short. With newfound urgency, she hopped on her laptop and typed up chapter number ten of her story.

Brittany began to believe that her theory about her spark and human body becoming incompatible may have been right. She really wished that Ratchet was with her now. He could always fix anything.

She was brave and scared all at the same time. On the one hand, it would be nice that her suffering and pain would finally be over. On the other, it was scary knowing that when her spark separated from her human body, a part of herself would be left behind. That was one reason why she felt so desperate to post her story and the letters to her future self. The future Aethelgythe would have questions and may be very confused about the whole dying once, returning as a human, dying again, and then being completely resurrected as a Cybertronian. It was quite a journey her spark had embarked upon.

Brittany knew that her journey was nearing its end. She hoped that she had left something good behind. Her human memories were now her legacy. She hoped her future self, would come to appreciate them…

To Be continued?


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 11

Brittany felt it coming. Her looming death. She thought she knew how she was going to die too. Her spark needed water to survive. The rate her spark was burning through her water supply, was dehydrating her human body far too rapidly. She had to drink 7-9 water bottles a day and oftentimes still felt thirsty.

The young woman knew…when it was time, her body would dehydrate and her spark would fade due to water deprivation. It was going to be an excruciating death. In a sense, it would be quite similar to her Cybertronian death. In the past, Megatron cut her main energon lines the last time she'd been alive and he, along with the other Decepticons, watched her slowly bleed to death. Her body and spark were both in agony because of the energon deprivation. It felt like it took an eternity for her spark to burn out. Now as a human, she faced a similar fate. She would be a liar if she said she wasn't afraid.

She opened her journal and pulled out two large pieces of yellow lined paper. Primus used her grandfather, speaking through him, to write her a letter. His words comforted her and gave her encouragement and hope. Her eyes hungrily began to read the words again…

_06/28/2011_

_My daughter,_

_You are a light in my kingdom. You are faithful and true. I Am is always walking with you. I will never leave you._

_You are a delight to me because your heart is right with me! Always look to me for your fulfillment, __never__ look to the world. Keep your vision ahead- never to the right or the left. Look to the throne! I will guide you each step of the way. Though you do not see the end of the trail, as you take each step, I will push the wall back so that you can take the next one._

_Your light shines brilliantly in the heavenly realms…_

_Your light shines brilliantly in the heavenly realms…_

_Your light shines brilliantly in the heavenly realms! ! !_

_Do not give into the world's pressures for you __KNOW__ I AM IS THERE WITH YOU ALWAYS!_

_Just call on my name, then begin to remember the blessings I have given you._

_Know that through your trials and tribulations, I have always been there. I have tested you and trained you. You have passed the test and the training is continuing so that you are becoming stronger. Through this training I have given you the reward, the crown- a golden crown of Empathy. I have also given you the crown of Love. I want to give you the crown of Forgiveness. I desire to give you the crown of Vision so that you will see all people as I see them. That is, I see them with a compassionate heart that longs to see people turn from their wicked ways so that I may invite them into my kingdom!_

_So my daughter, pray for those you despitefully use you. Pray for those that attack you. Hold up the shield of faith to destroy the flaming darts of the evil one. Use my sword of the Spirit, my word of Truth._

_Take a time each day, my daughter, to remember these truths. They are all confirmed in my written word. Now go in peace and __KNOW__ you can go nowhere, where I would be absent from you._

She smiled as she finished reading and folded the papers and stuck them back in her journal. She read her bible but not as often as she should. The last time she opened it, a message that Primus had given her written on an index card fell out of the pages. It said, "_The enemy will not thwart the plans I have for you"._ Brittany felt better knowing that. She was in the Maker's hands. Her life was in his hands. Everything was in His control, her fears regarding her coming death were needless.

As she was closing her journal, two smaller yellow pages slid out, catching her eye. She sidled them out and read them, her eyes watered as Primus's love touched her spark.

_03/31/2014 9:50 P.M._

_My dear Brittany,_

_You are loved with an everlasting love. I will never leave you or forsake you. I Am is your rearguard and I go before you. I knew you before you were fully formed and indeed, even then I had plans for you! _

_I am pleased with you, for you seek my face each and every day. Continue to do so and I will direct your paths! Now should you have to worry when the Creator of the Universe has his hand on your life : ) ?!__ Just trust me! As you take each step, I Am will show you the next one._

_Above all, relax in me, rejoice in me and again, you are loved with an everlasting love! REJOICE!_

He was right. Why should she fear or worry when she was in His hands?

Unicron wanted her to fear...he told her that with her dying breath, she would surrender her spark to him and be his for eternity. Aethelgythe kept having the same dream in different versions over and over again for the past few weeks. Last night she had another one…

_She was outside and she saw Soundwave sitting in his navy blue Hummer H2 alt-mode. He spoke to her telepathically and told her she was going to fall. _

"_**All the supposedly 'bad' feelings you have about wanting to give in to the darkness…the bloodlust, the rage…are all your own feelings. No negative force is influencing you to feel that way. It's all you."**_

_She was horrified at his words and shook her head._

"_No. That can't be true! I'm not like that!"_

_He laughed and transformed. She ran from him. Another Decepticon transformed, both of them in broad daylight. Humans ran screaming in a panic. The nameless Decepticon she didn't recognize, was coming towards her, her two human brothers running before the behemoth. She screamed at them to run and shoved them both into a sports car that was REALLY fast._

_She floored it and escaped the two Decepticons. She drove into an underground Autobot base. The layout reminded her a lot of the War for Cybertron video game…_

_She walked up to the Autobot receptionist at the front desk and checked in._

"_I am the daughter of Optimus Prime. I need to see him."_

_They were stunned that she was alive. Other Autobot soldiers that overheard were happy and voiced their excitement. Then she had a vision of her father Optimus. One of the soldiers told him that she was alive and that she was here, on the base. He ran for her. They were separated somehow though…_

_That evil…that evil that had forever been hunting and chasing her finally appeared. One of the Autobots screamed that there was an evil Optimus imposter in the base, posing as the real article. _

_She ran from the imposter and __**thought**__ she found the real one. The dream got really weird then…because the 'real' Optimus was now a talking golden retriever… he told her to stay away from the evil being that was after her. He barked at her, telling her to watch out! For the villain was standing right behind her!_

_She felt frozen in place. It wasn't from fear, it was as if someone was holding her in place. She knew something bad was about to happen. Then it felt like something stung the back of her neck. She was injected with some kind of toxin. _

_Unicron poisoned her, turning her into his slave. She felt compelled to do bad things she'd never dare to do in real life. He no longer felt like her enemy…he felt like her master and she looked to him for direction. Brittany then began to dream as if she was seeing herself in first and in third person. It was her…but it wasn't. Brittany…no, Aethelgythe, became a complete stranger to herself. It couldn't be her! It just couldn't!_

_Aethelgythe watched herself, devoid of any emotion obeying his every command. He ordered her to attack and kill the other Autobots…her friends, her family. She did so without any remorse. Unicron laughed maniacally and gloated, telling Optimus he was a failure and that he would never be able to save his daughter from him, now that she was HIS._

She woke up with a headache and was seriously dehydrated…for the third day in a row. Why did she keep dreaming that Unicron infected her with darkness and turned her into his slave?! Maybe it was a warning. Maybe it was a warning of what **might** happen if she surrendered her spark to him. She vowed that she would never let that happen! She told Unicron she would fight him to her last breath. She would NEVER be his!

What was so terrible was the fact that her coming death was going to herald the greatest temptation of all. Primus would test her for the last time. She knew if her death was going to be as excruciating as she believed, she would probably want her suffering and her pain to end by any means necessary. Unicron would probably come and tell her as she was dying that he would take all her pain away and spare her life if she gave him, her spark. She didn't want Unicron to have her! He was doing everything in his power to make her fall…to make her, his. Her final wish…her selfish wish…was that her father and Ratchet could be the ones to hold her when it was time for her to die.

Brittany sighed heavily and put her journal away. She got on her laptop and wrote another chapter for her story and another letter to her future self.

_Aethelgthe,_

_If you are reading this, I believe it's safe to assume that you passed the final test and that you didn't surrender your spark to Unicron. I'm so relieved if that's true. It means that I…that you…were strong to the very end. Now I encourage you to keep fighting! Fight him with all your might and never give up! He still wants your spark. He's afraid of you. He's afraid of what you are capable of and what your role might be with his coming demise. Even if you aren't the one to cast him out, I'm sure you will at least be granted a front row seat. I guess just watching will be reward enough._

_You had a very strong bond with Primus while you were human. I'm sure you still do. Always look to Him for direction when you are lost or confused. He will guide your every step. He will give you the power and the strength to defeat evil forever. This is my wish and my dream. That's all I've wanted during my time on Earth. I believe that my time on Earth was preparing me for my destiny. I don't know entirely what that is currently, but maybe you do now. If so, I have faith in you. I know that you will succeed. Just remember to give Primus all the glory, honor, and praise! If he has given you any kind of power or made you a Prime (I honestly don't even know what that is right now, lol. I'm guessing Prime and Primus are correlated somehow?)…be sure to remember that the power he has given you isn't yours to keep. Do not become blinded by it or become too prideful or you will fall._

_I'm sure you already know all of these things. It doesn't hurt to have another reminder, I'm sure. : ) Keep fighting the good fight, because it's not in vain. The end will soon come and evil will be defeated forever! I honestly don't know what else to say to you…to say to myself. I love you. Hold on to love, for it conquers all! With Love…you will never know defeat. Victory comes to those who walk in the light and whose sparks are pure. With Primus on your side, you should know…the war's already been won! _

_Love, Me_

Brittany felt very strongly that there was something very important she needed to tell her future self but couldn't for the life of her, remember what that was. Hopefully she'd remember soon.

Today had been a hard day. She'd been plagued with the thirst since she woke up this morning. She had to work at the grocery store and wasn't able to leave her register to get a drink of water when she needed one. She told her superiors that she had a medical condition that required her to drink a lot of water and that she apologized if she had to use the restroom on more than one occasion. They thankfully, accommodated her. There was one point that the pain and the thirst were so bad, she felt like she could have fainted. Fortunately, she didn't. After she drank another 2 water bottles on her 15 minute break, she felt much better. She was able to make it through the rest of her shift without any trouble.

Dinner with her family had been nice. She went to her grandparent's house to have homemade spaghetti, buttered bread, broccoli with cheese and then homemade tapioca pudding and chocolate chip cookies for desert. It was her mother's birthday dinner. It was so good! She savored her time with her family. The spark pain, the sickness, and the thirst attacked her the later the night grew.

She took her medication and got ready for bed. She kept coughing despite the fact the cold she had went away. She drank water, uncaring if she had to pee all night, just so the thirst would abate. In a way, she dreaded going to sleep. She really didn't want to have another bad dream. It was starting to scare her. Aethelgythe never wanted to betray the Autobots. She loved them with all her spark! She never wanted to hurt or kill any of them! As long as she stayed pure, she never would.

She felt shy at the thought of returning to them. She had the fear that she wouldn't fit in, would be a burden to her father and the Autobots, or get in the way. Aethelgythe didn't want to be a helpless little kid that required protection all the time! She wanted to FIGHT! And she wanted to win. Was she even worthy to return to them? Sometimes she had her doubts.

Whenever she felt strongly about those things, she had those feelings again…that her father loved her so much and that she was never a burden to him. Sometimes she had the vague feeling that Elita cared for her. She had the feeling that they wanted her to return to them. Was that really true? Maybe someday, when all of this was behind her and she was looking back, would laugh and see that she had been so silly to doubt!

She felt so sick…so sick and so tired. Her spark continued to hurt her, now continuously during the day as well at night. Sometimes she wished Ratchet would drive past her house and shoot her with a tranquilizer dart. Then she could actually rest in peace like he wanted her to! She hoped with all her spark that she would get the rest she needed tonight.

She said her prayers and got in bed. Hopefully tonight she would be free of any bad dreams.

As she fell asleep, her thoughts strayed to her father and to Ratchet. Would she ever see them again in her dreams? Or was that a one-time occurrence? There was only one way to find out…

To Be Continued!


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Thanks DarkMaiden95! : )

Chapter 12

Brittany felt terrible. Her spark pained her every night and now during the daytime too. Right now, it was mainly emotional trauma she was enduring. Despite the fact she remembered the main things that happened to her while she had been Cybertronian, she knew that everything she felt now paled in comparison to the pain she'd feel upon her return. Wow, that sounded strangely familiar… Regardless she was a wreck.

She got on her computer and wrote a letter to her father and the Autobots.

_Dear father,_

_I am afraid that I'm afraid to return to you. Of course that is all I've dreamt about during my time here on Earth but now that I know what exactly I will suffer when I return…the spark wrenchingly painful memories and the emotional devastation I will have to endure from the aftermath of what happened to me while a Decepticon prisoner… I don't want to face it. I don't want to remember every terrible thing that happened to me, with what will surely be crystal clear detail. I don't feel strong enough. I'm afraid to even try._

_I get the feeling that you want me to return to you. Perhaps that too, is something that you've dreamt of. I know with all my spark, that you would do everything you could to help me overcome the trauma and the pain. Just what I've remembered so far (that's not in as great detail, very vague) about those bad things that happened to me, make me wish I never existed. I can only imagine how I'll feel when I actually do remember. I'm sure that's what Megatron and the Decepticons want. They want me to feel like that. Maybe I should return completely, just to spite them._

_It's not just the pain and the grief that I fear so much…its other things too._

_I'm afraid that if I come back, I won't fit in…or won't belong. Maybe that's a silly fear. Regardless, it is how I feel. I also don't want to return in the event I'm a burden to anyone. I don't want to get in the way or be a helpless, defenseless __**child. **__That thought alone, angers me greatly. I don't want anyone to have to put their lives at risk to protect or defend me. I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. Because I'm too weak to save myself. I hate that. It really isn't fair. Life isn't very fair, is it?_

_When I was younger, I remember a lot of people telling me not to be in a hurry to grow up. I wish I could have been a child much longer… but in war, you have no choice but to grow. Now that my innocence has been so cruelly taken from me, I don't feel as young as I used to be. Then it's kind of weird because at the same time I DO feel just as young. Maybe that's normal, to feel like that after everything that's happened. I know that you did everything you could, to shield me from all of it. _

_I know that you did everything in your power to try to save me. Maybe it's for the best that you didn't. Let's face it, there was a reason why I ended up the way that I did, here on Earth. It's kind of ironic that I wound up on the same planet as you, all these years later. I wonder if you view humanity any differently now that I am one. Maybe someday if I ever get the chance, I can ask you…_

_Father, I also owe you and Elita a great apology. If ever, you feel any negative feelings from me regarding the two of you…I can explain. It's because of humanity. It's because of them that I have so much rage, disgust, and grief. My human mother was betrayed…TWICE. I know it's adultery for two humans that have divorced, (when neither husband nor wife died) to move on to different partners. That's what's happened here. My biological human father, the one I don't associate with or care to know, betrayed her when he slept around with a lot of other women…only to divorce her and then later in life, remarry to a woman I abhor. Same can be said of my adoptive human father. My mother left him because he was an evil jerk that didn't even love us. Now he too moved on and is remarried to another woman. Adultery. Betrayal. It's not easy having two 'father figures' do that to my mother. It's caused her a lot of pain and a lot of grief. I hate seeing her like that… I hate what it's done to me. _

_I hope now you can understand… where these horrible feelings I have come from. My human mind wants to take all of that…all of what's happened, what I know, what I've seen…and make me believe you betrayed my mother by taking Elita as your new sparkmate. It's a rage…a disgust…and a fear that I know are all displaced. I know the truth. I know you didn't betray my mother because she died. I feel so conflicted, so lost…and at many times, so confused because of this. Why must I feel these things? Please…please forgive me. I never want to hurt you both by feeling this way. I HATE these feelings with all my spark. I know it's not your fault. I know you are both innocent. You have committed no wrong. My human mind doesn't want to see it that way. Neither does my spark after everything that's happened. I'm so, so sorry. T_T _

_I grieve constantly because of this. I suffer so much pain…far too much grief and pain. Sometimes I don't feel like I can bear it. I don't feel strong enough…these feelings, make me want to die. I wish I could be numb…and not feel anything. Maybe life would be easier if I had no emotion at all._

_If you can't forgive me, I understand. I really want your forgiveness though. Words alone, can't tell you how sorry I am. If anything, I can only hope that you can feel THAT! I know there was a point, a couple of times actually, when it felt like I could feel Elita. When I did, I got to catch a glimpse of the person that she is. She is so caring, kind, loving, and compassionate. She has wonderful qualities and when I could feel that, it felt like I've known her for years…that alone, amazed me._

_This hurts so terribly. Why did so many bad things have to happen? T_T I don't understand. Maybe someday, all of this will finally make sense. When all of this is behind us, we can look back and see why everything had to happen the way it did…even if we can't understand right now. Primus does have great plans and I know he had plans for me, even before you had me. Forgive me for being selfish. I am only thinking of myself when I say I sometimes don't want to return to you. I'm weak. _

_I can only hope that the joy we both feel the day we are together again…can drown out the pain. Hopefully that will make it a little easier to bear. I love you father…so, so much. I never want to hurt you. Please, just know that. If I ever hurt you, I'm sure it wasn't or isn't intentional. And I'm sorry…I hope I haven't…I hope that I don't._

_I love you father with all my spark. Please, please just know that._

_Love, Aethelgythe._

Brittany wanted to cry writing that but the tears were stuck. The pain was trapped within her spark, like a festering wound, that just wouldn't heal. She usually hated crying…she wished she could cry now. It did help to ease the pain when she let it all out.

God…why did this have to hurt so much? Why did healing have to hurt and why did it have to take so long for her to get better? She tried to ease the pain by writing another letter to her future self…maybe that wouldn't be as painful.

_Dear Aethelgythe,_

_I need to share more memories with you. I can feel that my time on Earth…is ending._

_My whole life, Primus has directed me. I've heard his voice and can feel on many occasions that he is right next to me. He has guided me every step of the way. Telling me to zip up my life vest as a young child was one such time. _

_There was also another time, I was about eleven years old and I loved to climb trees. There was one tree that had light gray wood with sturdy branches. It stretched up but soon the branches intermingled with those of the pine tree right next to it. _

_I don't know why I've always loved to climb. The higher I climbed, the freer I became as I left the Earth. One particular day, I felt bold. I climbed to the top of the lightly wooded tree and stopped on a branch just below one of the pine tree branches. I wanted to keep climbing but something inside me…within my spark…told me not to. I had a sudden terrifying image of falling out of the tree and either seriously hurting, or killing myself. It wasn't that I was afraid…I really could have kept going and could have recklessly ignored the voice speaking to my spark, telling me to let that stubborn determination go and to climb back down. I listened and expertly maneuvered my body down each branch and slid down the smooth trunk of the tree, planting both feet solidly to the ground. Some of my neighborhood friends, kids about my age and maybe some younger, were waiting for me at the bottom. They asked me why I didn't keep climbing. I told them, God told me not to go any further._

_I have learned to obey his voice. He gives me very vivid feelings. He tells me while I'm driving, when a light is about to change from green to yellow, or rather to red. He also tells me which lanes I should drive in, which cars to pass and get in front of. It's pretty cool actually. Some would say it was foresight. Nope…it was God/Primus. He has told me many things. There have been times that a gadget would break or I would have a computer issue. He would give me the innate knowledge and step by step instructions on how to fix it. That was stuff I ordinarily didn't know how to fix._

_Primus has also spoken to me about other things. He has encouraged me when I want to give up. He's told me time and time again that He is always with me, even when I can't feel Him. He has comforted me when no one else can. He has been so good to me. So great, actually. I hope you can still hear His voice…can still feel Him speaking to you. I don't see why you wouldn't._

_Continue to trust Him. He will never lead you astray. He will grant you the desires of your heart/spark if you are faithful and true to Him. If you are Cybertronian reading this now, then he has indeed granted me one of the desires of my heart. I want nothing more than to be reunited with my father again. Even though I know it will be painful. Humans, say that as Christians, we store up treasures in heaven and that we will receive crowns. I care not, for those things. The only treasure I want, the only treasure I value, is not material. My treasures are the ones I hold most dear, they are the ones I love. My father is my treasure…as are the other Autobots. _

_Treasure them even now and rejoice with the knowledge you will be together forever…that treasure will never fade or pass away!_

_Love, Me_

Brittany wearily closed her laptop. She was tired and the pain was still afflicting her. She did the best she could to ignore it. Maybe playing a video game would take her mind off of it. She grabbed the nearest Xbox controller and decided to play Minecraft. It was pretty fun! She used to think it was stupid until her brothers and sister got her to play it with them. Now she just couldn't stop!

It was true, that her siblings were only half siblings. The four of them shared the same mother…those three, shared the same father. In a sense she was alone in this world. She was unique, different, special…at least that's what her mother would often tell her. She didn't view them any less, she considered them to be her brothers and sister despite the technicalities. She loved them and got to grow up with them. She was very fortunate and very blessed.

Brittany became lost in her video game and soon lost track of time. She needed to go to bed soon. She had to work both jobs tomorrow. Just the thought, made her tired…

She hoped that her father read what she wrote. She hoped that he would forgive her. If she could just feel that much, it would make her feel better. The pain drowned out everything else…it was very hard to feel her father anymore. It was so sad. She wished she was stronger and felt bad for complaining. Why couldn't she just suck it up and just bear the agony? It was hard. That was why.

Brittany smiled as she spread her new Transformers 4 comforter that she just washed on her bed. She hoped tonight would be a good night. Thankfully for the time being, the terrible thirst abated. She only had 2-3 bottles of water today and was feeling a little better.

There was still no knowing, however…what tomorrow might bring.

To Be Continued!

Author's Note: As a disclaimer I don't own Xbox or Minecraft…obviously. XD LOL


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